How Should I Say This?

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Well... how should I say this?

There is a valid reason why I haven't been in here. Yes, I know. I keep on doing this. But, none of those before would be worst than this time. Well, how should I say this?

Okay. Here goes. I will be losing my job in two weeks time. There you go. I've said that.

Four people in our office has been let go, and we only got two weeks notice, and it started from today. I have lost my job. Period. Collapsing...again.

What should I say? I don't know. I really don't know. Wait. Like I have college, at least until next year. My company has already pay the college fees until I finish my fifth year. And that is at least until middle of the year. Then, I have to get a job before then to pay my own college fees next year. And I have tried. Not that I neglected the event of job searching. I did. But none of Quantity Surveyor vacancy is available in Ireland. None! Zilch.

There are few openings in UK as well as in Australia. But then again, how about my studies? Should I stop and move on, migrating to another country who desperately need my expertise and leave all my life, which is nearly three years I built myself here, in Ireland? Or should I just gave up and back to my own country, and let fate throw the life path that I can just obey to?

It is too early to decide, and this is the most difficult situation ever. I can't even think, and it is driving me completely nuts! What should I do? Which is the better choice to make? Disastrous, as ever! As always I am in the crucial situation ever.

What would I do? What should I do to make myself back to normal again? Which path?

Why is it so difficult to be me?

How Is It Supposed To Be?

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I am here, sitting in my sitting room and thinking. I know. It is bad when it comes to me, thinking! But I can't just ignored what I think I am doing!

It is not as bad as I thought it would be, but still it does bothers me. It is just that, I got a bit paranoid of this relationship thingy. My relationship. How healthy can it be, when a relationship is about not meeting each other for quite sometimes? And how weird it is to think that your boyfriend is not really cares about you? Or so I thought.

To be honest, I do not know how would a relationship be? How would a normal relationship be? What should be expected? How people doing it? To be in a normal relationship? Where's the rocky bumps, and for how long it is going to be smooth sailing?

I think I am just freaking out with this normal smooth sailing phasing, that I tend to rock it a bit for a small weeny bit of b4by's rhythm. How odd does that sounds? Has I gone mentally ill right at this moment?

Too many questions for too little time. I am too tired already to think (had bad day at work too! something about a Contractor is - kind of putting up a row with me over underpayment!!).

I need to hit the sack now. Too tired. Perhaps, an early day and a breakfast will clear my paranoia mind tomorrow! ;)

Good night everyone! (uhuhh... and sorry for the small interruption of my usual storyline! *wink*)

*twirl*

A Prosperous Year Ahead

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Hey. Happy New Year to all. I know that I have been gone for so long. But I have a very good and valid reason for all these absenteeism. :)

I got a chest infection earlier on, right after Christmas! And, earlier on I actually had a fight with a doctor in the hospital for prescribing me a Penicillin even though I told him that I am allergic to Penicillin! How could he be so stupid? I told him that, as I did have a bad experience with that... and what I got back is a simple answer from him, "no... you are not allergic to it!"

How could he know that? He has not even been my doctor before!! Idiot!

Anyway, yeah... I think I am a bit paranoid in the love department! I am so happily in love at the moment, and he... the Tall Guy is actually really a good guy, who treat a girlfriend the way they should be treated! I have not received anything, but full attention from him all time around! He is such a boyfriend material! And worst... I could not help but thinking, when is it going to rock. When is my happily in love boat is going to rock by a ferocious wind, as it always has been...

There must be something wrong, it couldn't be smooth sailing all the time. Or maybe I was meeting the wrong guy all the time, and when the good ones approach, I tend to be scared of good things that happened?

He is so adorable, and yes! He did told me that he loves me... :) See!! I told you, I am being so paranoid after all the bad sailing in the love department. He actually did tell me, that he really does love me... :)

What more could I ask? Nothing could have been better! Perhaps, it is the omen of good years ahead! :)

Catch you guys later, and Happy New Year once again! May all of you have a prosperous year ahead! Thank you for all the votes and sorry for not voting back these past few days... Millions apology! I'll try to catch up! :)

Good night!