Inexplicable

Tweet

It's Friday night, and what would I supposed to be doing, I am NOT.

It's so boring. And, at times like this... I feel awful not having someone to call a boyfriend. A companion. And, I even think that my life is so pathetic, like sooo and sooo up to the max!

The reason I am so pissed off with myself (none of the going-out thingy got to do with my fella friends... It's just me.), because this week, all through the whole week of working days, I have tons of things to do. And, I am pretty worn out to all the things that need to be done, scattered on my table. The huge, gigantic drawings, papers and all sorts of related documents. My table is surely a big mess at this moment. So I thought, a night out for this whole weekends would be grand! But, heck with it. Friday night, 21:45, I am still at home, staring at my VAIO and typing some crappy stuffs here. Sad eh?

And, that particular guy. Sigh. I really don't understand guys. Who would agree with me? When we play hard to get, they come, aggressively. But, when we're there, they just vanished! Like, what are the right move, the pace that we should take? It's impossible, and unbelievable! I just couldn't figure this math out!

When I was talking to another guy, he pissed off. And, when there's nothing, no one in line, he ignored me! Like, wtf? *grumbling*

That is my life, more specific, my Friday night for this week! It is surely, horrible... Like, way too inexplicable!

Totally!!

Swooshy Winds In Autumn

Tweet

I just don't know what is wrong with myself. I like a guy. And, he likes me back. But soon enough, he's all gone. Why should I feel this way, over and over again?! What is really wrong with me?

Apparently, I have this one guy in my circle of friends. I like him, okay. Yeah, he's kind of cute. I must say. And, he seems to like me too. Not that I have this feeling towards himself, just by myself. But, everyone seems notice that he likes me too. End of story. I mean, that was it.

Then, days after days. I got attached. I like him. Full stop.

But always the same thing happened. I'm wrecked! It will always be me who ended up liking someone, whilst on the other hand, he just gone. Like, gone, GONE!

I don't really know, but heck with it. Last weekend was bizzare! I mean, it was okay until today. And everything, for some reason, always be on Mondays! And I hate Mondays, so a lot!

Or maybe it was just me, who's feeling sad and hopeless... on Monday. Maybe it is nothing wrong with me, and he don't even realized that there is something ever going wrong with us? I don't know. I got to attached. I just love the attention given that somehow when it vanished, I felt hopelessly wrecked!

More sighs.

I just don't know now like, what is going on... Should I just forget him and pretend that everything is normal back again? (Even though I don't even have the normal thingy in my dictionary of life...) I really don't know! Or maybe I should be so hopeful that somehow there will be something going on with us? I am seriously in doubt, and the thing that I can shout out now, is obviously I DON'T KNOW!

I hate this feeling, and the fact that I really don't know what will happened in few days time, freaks me out badly! I really hate myself at this very minute!

Really am!

Just Talk To The Hand!

Tweet

It's Thursday, and one more day to work. Then, weekends is on its way! Yayyyy!! *wink*

I stayed at home early in the morning, and I turned in the office, right after lunch. Wonder why? I was so sick, with sore throat and bits of headache! It was tremendously awful! I hate being sick especially with loads of things piled on my table! Sigh.

Everything in one package! A really bad sore throat, I mean realllyyyyyy BAD! That everytime I go to sleep, I ended up waking up at late night just because I had to cough now and then. I can barely had a good night sleep at all, and of course dreamless night for me! Unbearable! *triple sigh*

Then, eventually when we have the sore throat, there will always be the headache to come with. Painfully annoying! You can't really do anything about it.

The worst for me, I have my PMS thingy going on. Tummy ache once in a while, mood-swings and of course stressful day-nite; a good combination with what I already have!

I just hate the days of me being SICK. I really do. I can't really think, concentrate and yet be normal just like everyone else is. Sigh.

One wish for today, I just hope that all the dreadful, annoying, unbearable, pain to go away so that I can have my normal life back! (Even tho' my normal life is not as normal as these normal peeps have... lol. At least, I'm up for becoming ME back again.... ) *wink*

Oh, how I reallllyyyyyy wish... *clasping hands, eyes shut and make a wish*

Platonic?

Tweet

I met a long lost companion. I can't really say that he is a companion, nor that I can say that he is a friend, nor brother. We were so close before. Not a boyfriend to me, not even a brother at all. He is just HE! (Btw, meeting him, doesn't actually means MEET UP, but more like I found him, and somehow we communicate. Err... I'm too sleepy, I hope you understand the bits I'm saying...?) *triple wink*

We've met in school. We never talked to each other. Until, fate bring us together. We were supposed to be together, but somehow fate brings us apart. It was like last eleven years ago.

Predictably, we were supposed not to be talking to each other anymore, since the parted thingy. But then, we did. We become best of friends.

He was there when I had the most bad, awful, dreadful, annoying days of my life. When I got dumped. When I got terrible marks in my exams. When I just want to explode when I had my PMS thingy. He's always there.

Same goes when I had the most enjoyable, fun, happy days of my life. When I met a new guy. When I got good marks. When I just feel like I am so happy that I want to share it with someone. He's always there.

People always looked at us with amazement. Like, what the hell with this pair, they complete each other's life yet they are not together as any other peeps who looks like them?
It just can't be done. It's too complicated.

I love him, and he loves me and that's it. Full stop.

Then, he got a new girl. A girlfriend of his. Honestly, yeah... I felt a pang of jealousy. I knew it, somehow we will be parted. Dream comes true. His girlfriend hates me. Hate the fact that she's not the only one in his life. There was me. Day by day, we were parted and then there it goes. I'm out of his life.

Years passed. I mean, yeaaaarrrrrsssssssss!! *nodding*

And, somehow fate bring us together again. We met again. I feel relieved. Never thought this will happen. And, more news sprung out! He's engaged! Partly, I am so happy for him. At least, I am happy if he is happy. And yeah, he seems happy. *double wink*
But another side of me, feel undeniably sad. Engaged means, less time to be spent with. I feel awful!

It's not that I like him like I like him. Or I love him like I love him. It's just felt weird! Oh, peeps called it, a platonic feeling, or a platonic relationship. Means, some sort of a love relationship bonding that is so true, so pure and so us! (Find it yourself... but it is called platonic. I am too lazy to google it! Sorry!) *smiling sheepishly*

Oh, when we were still attached before, we once made a deal. A promise to each other. If any of us are not yet married until certain age, we would definitely complete each other's life for life. We would be married to each other, definitely. That's the promise. And that promise, came from both of us. It was hillarious at that time. We were like, laughing hysterically toward the promise, imagining like living with each other for life?! *giggles*

But now, I thought the promise made was quite cool! Don't you think so?! *wink*

And now, here we are again. Together!

He will always be my best man! My boy! My... I don't know. Whatever it is, I am so thankful I found him back again! Can't wait to meet him up and chat and laugh and giggles like old times! He will always be the man who knows me, and he will always be there in my heart!

Thank you, Ben! Mwahsssss!! *kiss kiss*

Road To Nowhere

Tweet

It's Tuesday. I had meeting today, a Design Team meeting. In the Architect's office. But, that's not the thing I wanted to tell you about today. It is more about myself that I wanted to tell you about.

Out of nowhere, I felt horrified today. I think. And, I know. When I think, it always involved my emotions. I feel awful. Awfully horrible. *long sigh*

I keep on thinking about myself. Like, what will I ended up become. Today, I called the college. Have I told you that I registered for another degree course? That is for me to be eligible to take the chartered surveyor's exam. I wanted to be someone. To be someone that mama can be proud of. Someone who's worth to be with and someone who is not just like a piece of shit.

They still have not decide yet which year shall I be in. They gave me until end of the week. Waiting is killing me. I hate waiting!

That's about my career path. Who will I become.

But, personally... I mean, truthfully inner side of me, despite of the career thingy... I don't know which way am I leading to. I just don't know. I know these will bore you out of nowhere. My sappy love-life. But I need to spit it out. I don't know where and whom shall I talk to about this. But, I just thought that I shall write this in, and at least I share my burden with other peeps. At least, I learned that spitting out this kinda thing, will eventually help yourself out. (Even though I just can't figure out HOW!) *another sigh*

I dated, err... I mean, I went out with few guys. A, B, C and D. But, I just couldn't figure out, what is going on. I'm confused. Technically, I am a GEMINIANS. Said that the GEMINIANS tend to fall in love and to lose the love, in short time. Have to agree with that. I think it is quite true. I saw a guy, I went out with a guy... I got attached. I like him. Attached to him. And then, I felt horrible when he doesn't call. I felt stupid. Like, I am not worth at all! I'm sad. I'm wrecked. Hold on for few days. Then, I'm okay. I met another guy. And the routine live the life of.

Mad? I know. I think so. Now, I am too confused. I'm all wrecked. Like, a total disaster.

I don't know. How I wish I know how to pace in the right step and move on with my life.

How I am so grateful that I have my career, and how I am tremendously grateful that I am going to start my class soon! How I wish, I would be far more better than I am today.

How, as always... how I wish...

Things That I Must & Will Do Everyday *wink*

Tweet

Hi all! I have been tagged. Again. Lina. *twirl with excitement*

Well, supposedly there are few things that I think I must and will do every single day, but as usual... when it comes to list it all down, you'll be like... what?! *giggles*

At least, that's what happened to me... Err, I mean NOW. *rolling eyes*

Nevertheless, I still have few things stucked in my head. So, better off list it out now...
Here goes:-

1) Somehow, I will definitely curled on my bed, approximately 15 minutes after I snoozed off my alarm, everytime, each day, early in the morning... Curl, and curl and curl... That's the best bit everyday of my day... *wink*

2) RIBENA. Yup. I will definitely wouldn't miss my daily intake of RIBENA each day. At least a bottle a day, to keep me healthy and to stabilize my sugar rush!! *giggles* To me, RIBENA is always a MUST! Yayyy!!

3) Smiling and giggling! That's what I'm best at, and even tho' there are hard times, I wouldn't missed a chance to potray a smile and create a giggly moment once a day, at least once a day! *wink*

4) Ciggie break! I'm all attached to the nicotine stick. It's terrible and awful! I know, but that's the thing. It's my needs, my obsession! *rolling eyes*
People who knows me, knows how chimney chicka I am. Sigh. I mean, super-sigh!

5) Flirting?! This was noted by a friend. I don't think I flirt, like even tho' when I talked to any of the guys I met, they said I was flirting with them. But, I guess it was just a gesture of friendliness, not more than that. But, what said, is what was said. No point arguing! So, there I am. Flirting, is a MUST? Hahaha... Cheeky? I think so! *rolling eyes over & over*

6) Talking or thinking or scribbling crap! Somehow, this is my expertise as well! I talk to peeps, mostly crappy stuff. I blog crappy stuff, and even thought of crappy and somehow creepy stuff. Hahaha... At least, I must have do this once a day, a MUST! It's absolutely idiotic, but that's me. Trust me on this one. People who knows me, yeah... they know what I'm saying. Somehow, I am full of crap. In a good way. I guess so. *wink twice*

Well, basically that is all what I can think about now. I mean, I am so sleepy weepy. And, suddenly everything parished. Like, poofed away from my thoughts. So, it's all gone. *wink*

Nevertheless, the things listed, yeah... basically that's me. At least, those are mostly the things that I did and do every now and then, basically every single day. So, that's me! Then, if you got the chance to comment on, tell me what do you think about the things I do, I mean I must and will do every single day of my life.. Yeah, tell me, tell me... *wink wink*

Supposedly, it's a TAG GAME! Again. Therefore, herewith I tag these people to join in my spooky tag game! Here are the lucky ones this time:-
(Please obey the rules! Please.... *wink*)

a) Adrian
b) Zura
c) Fairy
d) Lupideloop
e) Anyone who's interested in playing this tag game! (Let me know who did this okay - peeps whom I don't mentioned their name above, so I can check out your blog later on!)

Take care all, and enjoy the game! *twirl*

Dublin vs. Liverpool?

Tweet

Hey peeps! I just came back from Liverpool. Like, hmm... not really 'came back', but more like a day before. I was supposedly to come back to Dublin on Sunday, means... TODAY. Apparently, me and Zain, we decided to come back one day earlier. So, we came back last nite.

It was outrageous. Since we had to took out more money, to overrun the cost of the new flight tickets. Hence, we still bought the 
ticket to get back to Dublin as soon as we can. *giggles*

Liverpool is okay, but somehow, suddenly I feel very grateful to be back. I mean, there is nothing wrong with Liverpool, just that I think... if you are not interested in football or The Beatles, there is nothing much to see at all in Liverpool. I mean, none! Zilch!

The first impression, Liverpool is so quiet! I might say that Dublin is SUPERB, in terms of entertainment! I mean, what the heck is going on if midnite in Liverpool on weekends, is so darn quiet?! In Dublin, even though if it is Monday nights, it will be filled with loads of people in pubs and clubs, and I should say that, it is more lively in here compared to Liverpool. Over there, its just that few pubs (like, two or three maybe), spotted to have peeps in there drinking, but mostly old peeps. Like, where are all the Liverpool'ians? Funny?! I thought so! *giggles*

The second thing is, I hate the Bed & Breakfast we had. I mean, we were supposedly to stay overnight at my friend's place. But, unfortunately we had to find a Bed & Breakfast... last minute deal. It was horrible. I hated everything about the room. Squeaky, scary and all sorts of terrible description could always suit the room. Horrifying!!

The bed, was totally awful!! When I lay myself to sleep, I can even feel the spring come out underneath! Trust me!! The most horrifying moment, trying to sleep on that weirdo bed! The effect; I got back-sore the next day! Oh, and the room costs us £20 per person! Horrible?! Tell me about it!!

However, on the next day, we had a good tour though. We went to the Dock... (which, personally I tend to forget the name of the dock. Idioto me!), get around the whole city (which is, apparently far more bigger than Dublin... more shops, but I prefer Dublin, better!) and eat. Oh yeah, and coffee and cookies time as well! *wink*

There are few piccas I took over there with super-camera, Zain's possesion! Haahaha... Nice piccas I must say. Good quality and full of excitement piccas. However, I didn't have the chance to meet up with Zain and get all the piccas from him, though. I'll post in sometimes soon! No worries! Trust me, you will like the act I put in! I mean, I thought a model producer would be very delightful to have me in any magazines flicks. I think I pose extremely awesome! *giggles*

Well, we didn't go to the stadium anyway. Err... I don't have a valid reason why. But heck with it, who cares. Like, I don't! (But, I have a picca with Gerrard! Look out for that soon! *wink*)

Emm, yeah. It's good to be back in Dublin. Oh, by the way... while I was in Liverpool, I think I might get worst. I mean, my feelings. Something weird happened.

I missed someone while I was in Liverpool. The guy. That one particular person. There was supposed to be nothing. Like, I don't know. But, why the heck should I think about him more and more in Liverpool? I think I'm in love. Do you think so?

Well, that's another reason why I am so glad that I am back. Yayyy!

So good to be so close with him (I mean, in the same country.... Lol. It's not that he is living with me or what-so-ever! It's just good to be back!).

Oh, and so that is basically all about it for now. I mean, that is it! I will post piccas soon! Maybe a few here, and the rest in my Multiply account. I'll post over the link, later on!

Take care peeps! And, Liverpool... I like Dublin better, far more better than you! Hahaha... Cheers!

Salmon & Prawn

Tweet

I had a date. A dinner date. *smile*

It has been ages since I had not encountered myself into home-cook-dinner-date, but alas I had that last nite.

Maybe it was not a date, and more like a friend come and visiting the other? I don't know. But, to me last nite dinner was SUPERB! I cooked pasta, as if I keep on telling everyone,

"iyo italiana..."

I am Italian. *giggles*

I cooked tagliatelle with salmon and prawn cream sauce! I personally thought, it was nice though. Hahaha....

I honestly don't know like what's really going on with my life right now, like HONESTLY. Lina said, enjoy the single life as long as you can.... Fairy said, I am just being a single girl who's fun and being flirty, all the way... and few of others, saying that keep things in constant and don't ever rush things... EVER!

Basically, each and every part of the sayings, are technically, ermm... kind of right. It's just that, for me myself.. I don't know what would I want in my life!

By the way, I have this weekends off! So, to Zura... hmm, no more partying for me this weekends. I mean, I'm heading to Liverpool and hopefully, like reallyyyy hope that it's going to be good. I really want a good time-off from, I don't know what... Sigh.

Therefore, that STILL leave me with the question,

"What now?"

Whatever things that is going to happen, or has happened... what I really know now is, I think I like that guy! I think... err, yup! He's such an adorable person, but alas... I don't know. Really...

Err... I think I like him!!! *wink & twirl*

Three Cookies Yummy Heads?

Tweet

I do have the feelings inside. Blurpp, blurppp, blurpp, weeee, weeeeeeeeee, yuuuuuuu!! *twirl inside*

Some sorts of, butterfly in my tummy! Flipping thru' here and there, leaping, overjoyed! It might be a fling. It might... *wondering*

But, it might be for real... It might, as well. Hmmm.... *wondering again?!*

How would I know if it's for real, or if it's NOT? How would I know if that person is for real, or he is NOT?! Been a while, been there for so long. The feelings. But, what about it NOW?

That person might be for real. But, if that person is for real, and I am for real... No flings, but strings... But, what about the other person?

What about that other one? The other person. Would I rather shut the friendship, and go for it, or would I rather keep it silently inside, and die? No, no. That other, other person. The second person, what about? For real or just a fling? No idea. Not at all! Confusing? I think so.

So, what should I do?

There are three people. One is me. One is that person. The other one, is the other person. That person, known for so long. Knew that there were feelings before. Ignored. But still there, until now. But, now...

Me, agreed. That person, hmm... seems to agree too. But...

The other person, tend to agree as well, and that person looks like agreed, again?

Nothing ever confirm, not before, not now but maybe soon? But who?

However...

The other person, is somewhere, for sometimes... But, me... here. That person, is here too!

So, what should I do? (Typically me, would rather keep in silent and be dead. That what mostly me would do. But, now... this moment, me don't know nothing now... Collapsing?!)

So?

Hectic Weekends

Tweet

Hey there... *wink*
Been a hectic weekends for me. Always, been! *triple wink*

As usuals, but last weekend was far more hectic. I've been partying, all day. Two days, 48 hours to be exact. Crazy, I thought so! We've been club-hopping, house-party-hopping, and the last port, was my house. I had a house party, and it was hillarious, since most of them were fairly new-faces to me. It was awesome.
(Despite that, I should have met Zain my dear friend, but I just can't. Can't barely move! Millions of apology, Zain!) *guilty look*

At first, on Friday eve, after work. I was not supposed to go out. Not at all, at least not to any clubs. But, things changed. I went there. A club called WAX. It was awesome. Good bunch of music, good crowd! Then, it started. From one to
another. Sigh. (I had so much fun, anyway... hahaha....Until I realized that I am so wrecked at that very minute!)

So many things happened! Feelings come and go. Met few guys, met a guy that I like, but changed my mind. So many conflict. Like, loads! (Even now, I don't know what is going on...)

My house party, it was awesome. But, there's the horrible part as well. At the very end of the day, I lost my camera and handphone! Someone took it. Like, actually... someone robbed me! Stolen. Yup. It was stolen!! However, the party itself, the crowd (not that particular someone who took my stuff, we know who he is anyway... JERK!), it's brilliant! I might do that again, sometimes, soon! Yayyy!

That was basically my weekends! Weekends with my lovely foreign friends! 
Italians, Swedish,
Polish... GUYS, YOU ALL ARE BRILLIANT!!!! I LOVE YOU GUYS!!! LOADSSSSSS!!!

Amore mio, peeps!! *twirl*