Odd Feeling?

So, it is already Thursday. Thursday equals to late night shopping. Plus, mostly people got paid today, the last Thursday of the month. Same goes with me, but there is nothing in the shop that really intrigues me. Okay, okay. There is this one sneakers by Onitsuka Tiger. A white sneakers. So nice, and so girly in a way. But then, there is something more important bothered me today. Really bothered that I thought that I can swim in my own piece of mind.

But, I went to look up the shoes anyway. Unfortunately, they could not find my size. It's so rare to have many of them in my size, but usually they will have a few in stocks. But, as in for today... there is not even one in the stock! That is just the begining of my sorrow, I presumed.

I have been blabbing, nagging, complaining, cheering, chuckling, smiling, crying over this one person, who basically once in a while became the sub topic and sometimes, the main topic, in most of my posts since it was ever existed. Not just in the blog, but somehow in my life. Vice versa. In short, this one person coloured and patterned my canvas of life. With or without realizing it.

I have sometimes aknowledged this person as Mr. Jerk. (It is not as bad as it seems. That's just a name). He is nice most of the times - references to loads of previous posts would help.

He is...

1. My best funny, cheesy companion as he always made me laugh even though at times when I was supposed to be mad at him.

2. My best personal cook who never fails to feed me good, yummy, healthy food and when I could not finish the food on my plate, he will start blabbing, warning and telling me stories about how the starving people in Africa and Somalia, and I should be grateful and finish up everything (oh, and I did finish up everything!).

3. My best party partner who always had reasons to push me to come over to any party when there were times I said NO. He will always came up with a reason, that I will ended up being there in the party, and never failed to have fun for days!

4. My best couch potato mate, as after dinner on weekdays or if we don't feel like going out to clubs on weekends, we would spend hours in front of the telly to watch anything, from National Geographic Wild with the Monkey Business, Street Monkey and of course, his favourite... The Sharks! Or maybe, sometimes a re-run of The Goodfellas, Blow or even The Godfather Series. Then, as now he has turned out to be a newbie of The Simpsons addict, who are so attached with the telly when the show is on. Every single time, we had fun giggling and laughing hysterially over Homer, Marge, Bart, etc.

5. My best friend who is always there for me whenever things got nasty over my life and people around me. He always say something, made me realizing of things around me. Good things or bad things for me to think about it. And, sometimes... (not recently though), he will somehow cheer me up if I had bad day at work, by sending me stupid, funny texts that I will soon ended up laughing in the office instead of straining my nerves out of my brain.

6. My best opponent when we got ourselves into stupid, silly war. We can go for days of not talking to each other, even though if we are sitting in the same room! Just to provoke each other, we tend to just ignore each other so well, that sometimes (I think), it's not just me who pissed off, annoyed and irritated with the scenario, but he did too! *giggles* Then, somehow, we always did became 'okay' with each other without even has to say a thing. We can have no reason for not talking to each other in sudden and go for the silent treatment, and we can also have no reason to talk back to each other like normals do, back to our normal laughing, giggling, etc.

7. My other part of me, who never fails to understand what I want at every moment. Who knows me too well. Really well, that sometimes, if something happened, I don't have to say a thing but he understand and do exactly what I thought he would.

That is him. Mr. Jerk. He is not my boyfriend, but he is not just my friend either, so I think. It is so difficult to actually portray the things that we are having. The bonding. The relationship. Inexplicable.

But then, tomorrow he is going off for the afternoon flight. Unfortunately, he might not be back though. I have known this a while ago, but I haven't realized that odd feeling that I just sensed minutes ago. It's not that I am sad, and it is not that I am happy either. Just an odd feeling that I don't really know how to explain in simple words. Or even not liable to describe in words. Oh, and I am not being sappy neither pathetic. Just strange feeling. Odd.

What I know, we had shared good things and bad things together. And that is the important bits. We had that. And that is all that matters. I just hope that eveything will not be as difficult as it is ought to be.