I am at home, sipping my Chamomille tea. I am still thinking about last night nightmare. It was really distracting though. I can't remember still, what is it all about. But for what I know, it is surely something horrible that made me scream myself out right in the middle of the night.
Oh, and mind you. It's not once, but more than once. Manipulative dreams, I must say.
Following to the worst nightmare night-experience ever, I thought of something. What would intrigue my mind to suddenly feel insecure and scared that soon scariest dreams then created in my mind? Will that possibly moulded after what I really felt at the moment? Does what I feel has anything to do with my dreams? Mind you, I haven't got nightmares for quite some time now.
In fact, come to think about it... I did feel strange the night before. I was left alone at home, and I don't really have anything to do. Flicking through the channels from one to another that soon bores me to death, I then hurled to the bed for a good night sleep. Then, I was woken up at 4, just for someone to come and pick some thing! I sleep back again, and only soon to realize that there was someone with me, then by noon. But I was fast asleep. And it still seems like I am all alone, as then we were never speak to each other.
Would that be the cause of me having those nightmares? Not to blame the other person, but then again... would the reason simply be as I was all alone and that's the reason for the nightmares come creeping to my head late at night? I remembered I was sobbing. Late at night, far too scared to believe that it was all nightmares, nothing but just a weird sleeping game. And, at some point, I feel so lonely... as I am feeling so alone, even there was someone else in the house.
People might say that I am behaving like a child, looking like a child, having nightmares like a child and sobbing at night, scared... just like a child. But that is who I am and what I am. No one would ever escape from becoming one, like me... even in once in a blue moon.
Therefore, I am happy being myself... and if those point, becoming the reason why people refuse to be with me, be-friend with me, then be it!
As far as I am concern, I am just being honest to myself... and I think there is nothing wrong by being honest. I pressume... Think about it. Let the inner child of yours, exposed... then you know what does it means.
Good night.
