Let The Countdown Begins

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Today is 12th June 2012 and let the countdown begins? *wink*

I will be a year older in 6 more days and truthfully, I think this year is the worst year for me. All the mean-and-not-so-fun things are lined up just before I'm turning 31 and that is just simply greatttt! Not.

Let me list out 'em so we can have a look at it and decide how bad it will affects my life? Haha...

• I am unemployed, therefore, it means no work for me (yayy!) but at the same time there is no money for me to spend on new shoes or fancy little knick knacks whenever I am in dire need of glorious retail therapies (yikes)
• My final exam  for this semester falls on the 16th, 17th and 23rd of June (unfortunately - no parties for me this year, I supposed. As I will definitely be partying with zillions of law cases that I have to read for exam - well, pretty sucks I must say - Anthony vs Belle, Brendan vs Catherine *yawn*)
• I have gained a bit of weight - which, at this stage of my life (in my 30s), I despise every additional pounds shown on the bathroom scale everytime I stepped on it and it is beyond worst than ever when what I do to stop it is, err... NOTHING. (I've got to do something to overcome this. I know. But, I am just too lazy. Any suggestions?)
• My love relationship? Haha... This is undoubtedly out of the question! It's an unspeakable topic for me recently, since I have nothing to talk about. Perhaps, I was desperately looking for a job that I totally forgot all about this matter? One thing for sure, I am definitely going to find one great job then only I will think about getting myself stuck and tangle in a love relationship; pun intended.

In order to overcome this knotty and destructible problems of mine, I have come out with a list of things I wanted you to get them for me my birthday wishlist! 

• Keating on Construction Contracts 9th Ed. - I know I have gone insane when an educational book is one of the item listed in the things-I-want! But this book cost about £400 for one book! 
• A treat to hair salon - I have not done anything to my hair for quite a while now and I think my hair is hating me at the moment that sometimes I hear them talk among themselves how they despise me! 
• A new mobile phone perhaps? - My Blackberry is acting up lately that I was so close of throwing it to a nearest bin only to realize that is the only phone I have. Haha... I sort of been contemplating to get an iPhone, but... hmm, anyone? *wink*
• A new job? - Simple as that.
• A manicure & a pedicure treatment - It is always fun to be pampered, once in a while? No? 
• Cash - Yes. It is just not fun to be skint for so long. Trust me on this. I know. 
• A pair of new  heels? - This too, has been a while.
• A fare ticket to someplace in Europe? I missed Europe. I really do.

Well, that is all I could think of at this very moment. :) I will add in more when I have come across more things that I want! In the meantime, block your calendar - it's on the 18th June 2012. *wink*

Let the countdown begins!

Little Girls In My Shoes

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Summer is supposed to be here, right there and right then. It has been a very nice few days filled with warmth, joyful and happiness these past few days. And I couldn't stop wondering, until when it is going to be as peaceful as it is. Would it be raining tomorrow? Would it be back to it's normal kind of weather, like the way it is used to be?

Walking back home, I was in my suit with a pair of skirt and heels. It was way to unbelievable how the pain on my toes, shrieking quietly to my ear, "you stupid little girl... it is way to painful down here, stucked in this stupid heels you are wearing!!" I have decided to wear an office attire, completely to the office today, just because I feel like it.

I have to admit, I am a bit selfish to myself, not thinking about how my pair of feet would think of that. Heels have always been a torture to me, no matter how good it looks. Hence, I still have loads of pairs, patterned beautifully on the shoe rack in my home. It is too nice, to look up those pairs, in the shoe shop, portraying themselves... "pick me, pick me!!" through the front glass of the shoe shop. It's unbearable! That obviously verifies numerous collections I have, at the moment. *wink*

It was not too bad today, a good sunny day but not as good as today, or as the day before... It is just okay. I keep on walking, and the 'little girls' in my shoes keep on shrieking, drumming in my ears. Then, I couldn't help but wondering... It is too painful to walk miles, with a pair of heels, but most of the women nowadays seem to not bothered at all by the fact that their 'little girls' are shrieking, seeking for help, probably suffocating or perhaps some of them need to be towed to the critical unit emergency room.

Is that considered normal? Is that how norms nowadays reacted? And basically, treated this as one of the tiny matters among all big problems that have ever existed? Would that be classified as a routine of life, things we do and have in our everyday life? Will that not be actually known as torturing yourself, that soon it can somehow put you in a risk of becoming handicapped?

I had few thoughts on, and it does scare me eventually. If we do walk in heels for at least, 5 days a week, for... say, 2 hours each day... and that accumulate to approximately 40 hours per month... and about 60 hours per year, will that not give you higher risk of having fractured toe bones?

When I was flipping the images on my head, I suddenly realized...


It is a fact. A problem will always be a problem if we see it as one, but will not eventually become one when we just don't be bothered about it. Theoretically speaking, I am stomping on my wild side of agenda right now. I have been bothered with my sappy love life scenario without ends to it, and obviously without sense. I have been bothered with the 'how is it going to be' equations every now and then. And until now, I just couldn't fit in the last puzzle of whiz. I could not even lay the final presentation with all the trusted evidence I have, and I could not even put up the mix with the perfect combination of ingredients on hand... I just could not. It is simply because, I am seeking for it. I am wishing on stars to have it all happen as it is supposed to be...


It is always been right to every other person in this world, but somehow it does not blooms out beautifully when it comes to mine. Does that have something to do with me, or it was just them? Most of the girls that I know, happily married and have kids around them. Does that means they are luckier than me? Or do they just fit in the places to make themselves happy and settled but in fact they are not really as happy as they want to be? Do I basically being to picky and always drooled over some stupid jerks that ended up having sort of cliche love scene over and over again?

However, I found out that few of my ex-es are somehow, have a beautiful life and settled with someone at the moment. Then somehow, I have another thought in my head and it does scare me.

Was it them who brings the problem to all the relationship that I have had that ended up crashing badly in the middle of the journey, or is it me?

Am I actually the one, the wild orchid stuffed with one humongous petal spelled "say no to commitment"?