It Is Real

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So, it is already Tuesday, and actually it is Wednesday already. I am sitting on my bed, having my laptop with me... thought I should have write something as I already have been neglected the blog ever since the day...

Surprisingly, I am quite okay. Not quite, but just right. I was a bit 'collapsing' in a way, when I got home and found out all was left only myself and few stuff. I have been trying to cope up the peaefulness without having to be into the silent treatment no more. But, sadly enough... I think I do miss that part though. As if now, it was only me with myself and no others.

I got a text! Last night when I was already tucked under my comfy duvet. It was an accident though. I didn't even hear the phone making text sound, or anything such... Just a coincidence. And there it was, a text from an unknown number. A text from that particular country. Bliss.

Somehow, I do feel my heart is making a yelp! Quietly inside. The tremendous excitement. I knew it was that person. After few days of trying too hard to not think about it, I got a text! It was magnificent! In a way. I did replied, and no answer. No answer until today. That is always the case. Always will be.

What is going on with us? But at least it was not me who did trying to find him, even though I do feel the urge to do so. I just can't. At least he did text me once, even though he did not reply me then. Would that means something, or would that really means anything?

God. It is too sad to think about it, furthermore to make my own speculation on it.

Whatever it is, I can't really lied to myself. I just can't. I tried to make things easier by to get into fights so that I can get over it, as soon as possible. But I just really can't. At least not now. And, others... are keep on telling me that I am being stupid of not realizing that it is only a pentomine. But it is not. It is really not the thing. It's just different, and whatever things people are going to say about it, I know deep inside it is actually real. Somehow. It is.

A Routine?

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It's Wednesday. The middle of the week. Whereas, the peak day of all days. This is the day you should be feeling energetic towards whatever things you are doing from the beginning of the week, and it is also the hunting to the wonder-weekend, that is soon approaching the week.

Well, for me. It is static. It's good that the week is nearly over. But then again, there is another week ahead that wee wee weekend. So, it's levelled. Basically, it's the same thing, over and over again.

Speaking of routine, same goes. With life, with people... and even sometimes with pet, if you have any. *wink*

Our life revolves around people. People means human. Human means, family, friends, lovers, enemies, employers... strangers. Technically, everyone. And it is up to the person, to actually having these people in a routine basis, or to spice things up... then it will turned out to be non-routine? Does that actually up to the person who sees these people to decide, to make it much more ecentric value by spicing up things, or it is actually the other party who did spice things up? It is still vague with mystery floating up and above.

Same goes with relationship. Not just between lovers, but between a person to another. Somehow, it can be a routine with a quick hello and bye. A friendly smile or even a simple nod. That can be acknowledged as routine. But then again, with a little high pitch voice blaring, swarming in the air... stomping foot on the floor to portray rebellious growing inside. That could be called non-routine event. Could it be?

But what happened when you are to attached with the routine of daily life you soon to forget the sparks that started it all? Would it that then be just a simple routine without anymore sparks to be cheered with? Is routine something good or it will eventually put life to pale and uninteresting life altogether?

Then come the question, would you be nice to a person just as a matter of fact that it is routine all along, and not because you want to? Or you just being the way you used to be just because you want, and you need to be such that in front of other people to make sure that people will see that nothing is wrong and all is wrong is one person is just being lunatic all along?

Would that come to the conclusion that routine is actually bad, in terms of this situation? Don't you think it is nothing but a fake person is born when routine takes control?

Why would you stay in routine mode if it's this that will happen, or it is just how you choose it to be?

In my opinion, rather than being a fake and to stay in routine, I rather a person being honest and not in a routine mode, so that the truth will be revealed, and end of story. That is the best option of all options. Unless, you are not sure of what are the things that you want. Ah, in that case, it will be in a different chapter, obviously.

Have a good night!