For Real Or Fantasy?

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Hey all. Picking up myself from the ground, to make myself well enough to jot down something! Been too busy at work and college too! Group work has shattered me into pieces. Bossy people around just pissed me off big time, especially when you keep on sneezing and couldn't even think of what are the best things to say... :(

Just finishing off my assignment, and thought why not I just drop in and jot in something. As I do have something in my mind that bothers me a little bit.

As always, love-life. Not that I am complaining. Everything is well now. Just that, I don't really know what is going on. I mean, yeah. He is officially my boyfriend. Damn, it feels so good! It really has been a while since I had a boyfriend! :)

But I was just wondering, is like and love two different things? I think it is. And I am not sure myself really, do I love him or I just like him? And what does he thinks? FYI, he never said that he loves me yet... I am confused when it comes to guy matters! They are just weird enough to be understood!

Is that just a common thing and it doesn't really matters? Or does he actually planning to just playing around with my feelings? But, I have met loads of his friends, and it is so nice when he keeps on saying, "... this is my girlfriend..." Like, an official label, which I have been seeking for months! Not that I am desperate enough, just that it's so nice to be someone's girl. :)

And I have kind of good relationships with his friends too. I mean, they are being so nice to me. And I do appreciate that loads from him! But still, am I for real? Is he really into this relationship or it is just me? Ah, another FYI, we have been two months, approximately been together. I have been Mrs. Kells for about two months now, and it feels great! But I do get paranoid, like thinking about this... whether is it just a patch and soon will be gone like others, or it is for real. I can't deny that. I do feel insecure. How would I know without having him to say that he loves me? Complicated!

Tell me what you think. Till then, I will talk to you soon enough! Going to bed now. Nites!

Fiction Does Exist?

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Hey hey, everyone! :)

It has been so long since I have not jotting any tales in here. I have been picking myself up from the floor, and at the same time, things just got out of hands in the office. Been very very busy, and somehow it does the work to keep myself sobbing and rying over the past.

However, I have been doing some get to know people. Yeah. As I told you guys, it has been hectic. Somehow, there were too many guys seems to be interested, and it looks like I am back to the dating game! It's quite fun though. I mean, there were loads of strange people out there as well.

But I think, we have the winner... somehow! I know it sounds so weird, as it has been to quick to have a winner. It is not even a month! But, this person really does treat me like a princess!! As opposed to how bad Mr. Jerk was treating me before. :(

This person, he always all the time looks like as if he was mesmerized by me! I am the baby, the princess, all the good things... What baby wants, baby gets! It is too unbelievable! I mean, it is very difficult for me to accept the changes, at first. I have not been exposed to kindness for so long now, and I nearly back off just because of that! How terrible had Mr. Jerk affecting my life?

He is the previous guy, whom I had a post about him. The one who was looking at me, when we were supposed to watch a movie! :) We stopped seeing each other, as he thought I was just playing around. But then, we just got connected again, supposed to just becoming friends, and I was supposed to be one of his lads... But, I don't know. I guess things changed? :)

I am not sure if I like him, but I think I do. I mean, first of all, he respected me. And he likes me! Like, seriously do. And he always made me laugh, and he is so full of nice surprises! I mean, the last time he came over, for a movie, he brought me a box of chocs, popcorn, my favourite apple juice and gummy bears! (Because when we first when to movies, I had all those things with me and he knew how much I like those tid bits!). How thoughtful?

Then, I was hungry and I ordered takeaways, and he was sitting in front of me and waiting for me to eat my dinner, slowly like a snail and he never ever complaint! And my friend called over (she sorts of like a sister to me) to come over to her house as she made a small party, and I asked him to come along, and he did... surprisingly he made an effort to be nice to her! Even though, he never ever met her!

He is sorts of like a fiction book kind of guy. The guy that I always dream of to have one, who can take care of me. Probably, I chickened out as I never had this kind of thing for so long? Do you think I should stick to this guy for a while? I am far beyond confused, as usual Daddy! :) The thing is, I am tired if soon I will be hurt, again and again... I am so tired of all this. I don't know how to react and how would it do right to myself.

It is all just too confusing for me now. Seriously. Obviously. :)

Give me some opinion, please. With that, I wish everyone to have a good night, and millions of apology for being absent for quite sometimes now. Love you all!! *kisses and twirl*

It Is Real

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So, it is already Tuesday, and actually it is Wednesday already. I am sitting on my bed, having my laptop with me... thought I should have write something as I already have been neglected the blog ever since the day...

Surprisingly, I am quite okay. Not quite, but just right. I was a bit 'collapsing' in a way, when I got home and found out all was left only myself and few stuff. I have been trying to cope up the peaefulness without having to be into the silent treatment no more. But, sadly enough... I think I do miss that part though. As if now, it was only me with myself and no others.

I got a text! Last night when I was already tucked under my comfy duvet. It was an accident though. I didn't even hear the phone making text sound, or anything such... Just a coincidence. And there it was, a text from an unknown number. A text from that particular country. Bliss.

Somehow, I do feel my heart is making a yelp! Quietly inside. The tremendous excitement. I knew it was that person. After few days of trying too hard to not think about it, I got a text! It was magnificent! In a way. I did replied, and no answer. No answer until today. That is always the case. Always will be.

What is going on with us? But at least it was not me who did trying to find him, even though I do feel the urge to do so. I just can't. At least he did text me once, even though he did not reply me then. Would that means something, or would that really means anything?

God. It is too sad to think about it, furthermore to make my own speculation on it.

Whatever it is, I can't really lied to myself. I just can't. I tried to make things easier by to get into fights so that I can get over it, as soon as possible. But I just really can't. At least not now. And, others... are keep on telling me that I am being stupid of not realizing that it is only a pentomine. But it is not. It is really not the thing. It's just different, and whatever things people are going to say about it, I know deep inside it is actually real. Somehow. It is.