Thinking Too Much Leads Nowhere

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Today is Tuesday. In a week time, I will be having my week holidays! *wink*

But I am on bed all day today. Been attacked by period cramps! It is not a good feeling either. Been curling left and right, and sighing all day. When I eat, it pains. When I stand up, it pains. When I turned my back, it pains. Everything spells - PAIN!

I have tried to get myself up and go to work, but alas it is all lead to a big failure. So, basically I was home all day, on bed. Not a good day to spend, at all.

I have decided. I am moving out in July, and I just got the answer to my confusion. We are going to Tenerife, after all. I got the news last night. He just got back from somewhere, and he texted me in the middle of the night... we are going!

I felt happy but in some aspects, I am worried. Would it be a nice vacation without any hassle and tense? Would it be as a good vacation as it can be? I hope so.

I have given up thinking. I guess, sometimes... it just made things go wrong. Go the other side of the story. It does not help, as sometimes it gave you different opinion, which somehow it is not there to judge at all. An opinion which is not relevant to even be called, an opinion. That usually what happens. Not just to me, but to whom who thinks too much. I guess that explains.

When we have an option, to choose... we tend to go to the other side of thinking. The negative ones. To me, its like a disease. Once you have a thought about it, it will spread around... and that is when things got worst.

So, basically... what am I saying is, don't think too much. No matter what the thing is, when you did too much, it won't give you any good.

I am still having my cramps now, but I am healthily to get back to work tomorrow. Therefore, I must hit the sack, now. So, till we meet again! Cheers!

P/S: The home-hunting is still on-going. I'll let you know the update.

What You Think Is The Best?

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Ciao people. Been a very crazy weekend... at the start! And, I don't know how to pull this out. Always got stucked in a big mess!

I didn't go out last Friday, but I was having an after party at my home, with few friends coming over, including Mr. Frog! (No, he is not really a frog, but err... after what John said, maybe he's a frog!). *wink*

But thing has got even uglier! At some stage, I don't really know what is going on with us. Things have changed. At one time he is okay, but another he is just like a piece of shit! A friend told me that when he teased this guy about me, he just got paranoia! Like, a real paranoia. But what is it got to do with me? A friend also told me, that probably he is not sure what is his feelings towards me like. And, it's not really nice. As I don't really know what is going on.

Deep in my heart, I wanted to settle down. Like having a real life, with a boyfriend to take care of you and care and love for you, of course! But, with this situation I am having now, it is so impossible to have one. I don't know where I stand, and I don't know what is the conclusion for all this!

At some point, I do feel like a 'prostituta'! Like he was there, when he thinks that he wants me to be there, and at another point, he just left me unattended just because he don't feel like he's obliged to be there with me? Am I really that worthless?

Sometimes, I just wonder where will this story end? And how it will end, and when would it take place? Truthfully, yes. I like him so much, that I can never manage to forget him, not even a second. But, with the treatment I got, I don't think it will do me much good. I am truly confused with all these. I need a break, or maybe an answer to what has happened before.

I don't think what we have now is called friendship! I think it's more of a scandal? And not even close to the term, a relationship! None. And, come to think of it, I feel like a shit!

I don't know. I keep on writing and writing, and it just pissed me off big time to think of all this. And, daddy has warned me about the thinking. He said it's not good for me, and I know that as well! *wink* But, daddy... I just can't help it!

I really need an answer to all these complications, but its just too impossible to get it! Please let me know what you think is the best way for me to do. I am so confused. And now, it's 6.15am and I just woke up from bed and I thought I would scribble something to get, maybe another opinion on my problems.... I need help!

Let me know what you think I should do, the best thing to do.

Thank you.