Tag Game

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I am back to this tag game. :)

I was browsing through my couz's blog, and I stumbled upon this! She actually tagged me somewhere in January, and I have not been informed at all! *wani.... what do you have to say on this?* hahaha..

So, here I am, diligently obeyed with the game.


Here is the instruction:-
1. Take a recent picture of yourself or take a picture of yourself right NOW!
2. DON’T change your clothes, DON’T fix your hair.. just take a picture.
3. Post that picture with NO editing.
4. Post these instructions with the picture.
5. Tag 10 people to do this:

Therefore, here are the list of ten people who I tagged! Please, please and please... participate in the game! Would be fun!

1. Ammar - my brother!
2. Lina - my long lost friend!
3. DaddyP
4. 70steen
5. Fairy - please do this! It is an order! :)
6. Akma - do this too!
7. SylvieD
8. JohnC
9. LinkyLove
10. AdrianC

P/S: I was on my way to sleep... So, please ignore the messy-ness of the look and how normal and simple I look like! Haha...

Good night! xxx

An Ultimate Decision

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Hi all! :)

Okay, so it is Monday. I used to hate it, sooooo badly. I mean, who likes Monday? Na'ah. Not really a good day, especially if you are working, and you have to pick up things you left on Friday. And, it is such a headache if you had a lovely weekend beforehand.

However, it is not bad anymore for me now. Instead, I am so much looking forward for Monday to come as Monday is the first day of the week, and I am hoping from the thousands of CVs I have distribute all week, would somehow earn me a phone call, requesting for me to come for a job interview! But then again, I am so hoping for it, that it has never come true! Not yet...

Well, after browsing through websites and tons of emails saying things like, "we have received your application, but we regret to inform you that you have not been shortlisted for the interview for the post... we wish you luck in your next future...bla bla bla..." Yeah, right! So, I have made quite a decision. I found out from friends and family, that they are quite a high demand of Quantity Surveyor in Australia. Yeah, I know. The other part of the world. I've heard about it before, but I was reluctant to actually have a look on it, since I thought I might want to finish up with college.

But then again, after doing a bit of calculation ... basically, I have been spending money for food, rent and other expenses (even though it has been done, 'stingy-ly, <--- I don't think that is even a word... but what I meant is, like I don't really spend like how I spent it before when I still have my job, shop happily...), there is no topping up of the money at all! I mean, all the money has become more and more less... and this is not good at all! I mean, what is the point I am staying here in Dublin, but then again, I have to live poorly? And only have a class once a week? Not a win-win situation at all. In fact, I think it is a lost-lost and more lost!

So, I applied few jobs in Australia. Just did few minutes ago. I think that is it. I just made the decision of applying them. Before, I just had a thought of applying them, but I hesitate due to some reasons. But now, looking at myself drowning through the stream.... better off I do something with it, before I drown more deeply and die? :)

So I did! And no one knows this decision of mine at all. No one. (I mean, friends or family - but they will if they read my post, obviously! Oh, and my dearest boyfriend too. He doesn't know this at all. Just me and only me).

And, if I got any calls or emails regarding the application, or even if I am lucky enough to get an interview, and got any job from this application, I am definitely going to do it! I mean, for an obvious reason, if I got the job, it is meant for me to apply for the job then. It has been written in my path of life, and if that what it takes for me to keep on living my life, so be it. Then, only I will be telling all my family members, friends and obviously my boyfriend. You probably wondering by now, what would happen between me and him? Well, that is a tough one. I don't know. I really don't know, but what I know for sure, I have to keep on living. Keep on surviving. Before you have to love someone, you have to actually have the heart to love yourself first before anyone else... So, that is what I am doing.

If we are meant to be together, then we will be. But looking at us at the moment, I really can't tell. So, this is my sacrification towards my love life for my life. (uhuh, it does sounds weird now, haha...). Well, hope you got the main thing I intended to say. Ah well...

So, talk to you guys soon, and wish me loads of luck! Ta.

Who Wants To Go Out With Me?

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It's Saturday, and I am sitting on my bed, thinking... what should I do today?

I wanted to go out, but I have no idea where to go. And with who. Only then I realized, "Bugger!! I don't have that many friends!!" How terrible that is? Super terrible.

Therefore, there is a question for today! "Who wants to go out with me?"

I really need to go out for a while, to get some air... (just hope that the weather is okay. haha...).

Talk later! :)

A Twirling Update!

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Hey ya... I am back here. Again.

It is Friday night, but I am sitting at home, and trying to get my head to absorb all the notes from college! Somehow, I got the goosebumps early enough this time! Usually, I will only have this kind of thing when it is nearly the time for the exam! :)

Probably, it is the aging! Growing old makes you feel you need more than enough time to study! Gosh!

Okay, here's the newsflash! I am still out of job. Still no joy, and let's see... it is already been officially 7 weeks, that I have been out of job. And, no joy ever since. How could a person be comfortable enough to stay at home and do nothing, in full of triumph? There are people like that, and I am saying this based on what I saw. And it is true. There are a flock of people who actually doing this thing for living! Getting the money from the government (since the government is being so nice in terms of giving out money to people....), and just loathing and basically, DO NOTHING! How could that be so enjoyable? No idea!

As in for me, it nearly break me into pieces. I need to see people!!! Being cocooned in your own life, without any leads to anywhere... trust me, it's sickening! If it was for a week or two, then it is fine. But, to have it continuously happened, well... it is hell!

Love life? Hmm... this is a tricky one. I think, the thing that I had been thinking before, was so right! I think I am paranoid. Know why? Because now I am doubting is he really into me. I know that he is being nice and everything to me, but there are times when I actually doubt it. Like, how could a man possibly stand with me, in a relationship for so long? I am well known for my unsuccessful relationship for years! Therefore, that what makes me a bit paranoid when it comes to a smooth sailing relationship. Well, sometimes, things that he said... just makes me wonder. Like, is he really into me?

The thing is, people often said that, when it is right, there will be no doubt about it at all. But, why do I have this doubtful things in my mind, as days passed by? Would that technically is an omen telling me that it is going to end soon? Or is there any better ways to overcome this silly thought? By ignoring everything that you think, and just ... just don't think? At all? Is that it? Is that the key to all the successful women out day with their happy, blessed relationship? Yes?

Or probably the fact that I actually don't really see where are we going. To be honest, I don't really see where we are in a year time. Not even a year... say, in two months time. Is this one of the symptoms, when you are actually dating a younger guy? It is more of a spontaneous relationship, rather than a well planned kind?

With the situation of me not having a job, and moving from an exclusive one bed apartment to a mews, sharing with two other housemates... (Oh yeah, forgot to mention. I moved to a house in a street called, Rxxxxxxx Mews, and I have checked the dictionary that mews mean - street lined with buildings that were originally private stables but have been remodeled as dwellings! Almost like, I am a horse in a stable! Haha...) I feel more insecure about my relationship. Don't ask me why but I just think that those two reason did affect my thoughts on my relationship. The security in this relationship, just seems to run down. I mean, he can basically leave me on a stake, if he wants to. If he doesn't really want me anymore... and at the end, I will be so hopeless trying to reach for the branch before I fell off the cliff! Oh, how dramatic! Haha...

Let's just hope this is just one of the bad vibes that always visit me once in a month! Let's just really hope that is the reason! Please God! :)

Well, that is it for today. I'm feeling a bit starving already. Maybe, I should make a tuna sandwich for my dinner? Let's see... Okay, talk to you guys soon! Good night, and have a good weekend! :)

Settled?

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Hey all! I am all done. Set and done. No more finding a house, as I already did. :)

Now it will be only thing on my mind. Finding a job. Any job would do. As long I am not stucked at home, and do nothing. It bores me to death! I can't live like that anymore... It's torturing!!!

I have finished unpacking all my stuff, and now I am ready to find a job! :) As if I haven't done any of that. I even did try to find a job here and there, just that I have no such luck, as yet! Hopefully, soon enough...

Oh, and one more thing. I am already starting to study bits and pieces for my college. I have my final exam in the middle of May, and I have 4 subjects to pass. To be honest, I don't want to just pass, I want a distinction! :) Haha... I have to. But the subjects are wrecking my head! I have construction law, construction economics, financial management (with all the numbers - sort of like an accounting paper!!) and cost and value management (this is okay, since this is basically what I do in my job - my ex job!). It looks like probably, only a paper to get a distinction! I want the whole lot! :)

I am sitting here in my room, flipping through my law notes, trying to get all the cases into my head!! It's a mess!

Wish me luck, and 'till then I will catch up with you guys soon enough. Thanks to those who never fail to vote me. I will try to do my best, voting you guys! Good night! xxx

Moving Out!

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Pheww!! What a long pause from hitting the keyboard keys to jot down some crappy stuff in here. Well, I have been living in my little topsy turvy life since then. That is why.

I am moving out from my special lair today, 15th march 2009. And worst, I will be living with two strangers whom I know nothing about. It will be such hurdles for me, for few weeks I think. I mean, I have been living on my own for so long now, and to cope up with housemates, will be a bit hard. Alas, I have no other ways... I am still out of jobs. So, that's why.

It has been five weeks that I am not working, and it just driving me nuts. Sitting home and do nothing, and despite of that, everytime you go out, the money just slides away slowly... not topping up is such a stressful condition.


I have packed all my stuff, and everything is nicely boxed up. Cleaning the bathroom, kitchen, fridge... and only one thing left, that is to sweep and mop the floor throughout the house. Sigh. I think I have a back pain already with all the huge amount of house chores that I have been exposed to this whole week! :)

I will be moving out later, at 3pm! I am feeling nervous and excited at the same time. God knows how it is like to live with people and those people to live with me! :)

Love life? Things are going well I think, but sometimes, obviously I do think about on how long it is going to be then before I collapsing again as usual! Knowing me, you should know by now that I am always, always unlucky in that department! :) We'll see.

There are just too many things happened in my life at the moment. It's just too many.


So, wish me luck with the moving out, and talk to you guys soon! Here are some of the nicest photos of the new home. Have a good Sunday evening everyone! :)

Bad Vibes Are Soon To Be Gone, I Hope...

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Hi there. So, here I am. Back again. There is nothing much to tell really. I mean, I have been jobless for two weeks, counting today's in. Two consecutive weeks without a job and one day class a week is killing me inside. Really.

What I could not imagine is how the hell is some people who can live life happily without a job in a long term unemployment in their own will! Like, they are some sort enjoying the life of no job at all for such amount of longer time!! How did they manage to do that? Horrifically disastrous, if it is in for me I say!

I know I hated job once in a while, but most of the time if it is on Monday, but then again.... work is when you ought to see people and your brain is still active. But without job, you feel some sort of LOST in your own place of mind. And it is not a favourable thing to do if you ask me!

Since I do not have a job, that simply means I could not afford the place I am living in now. My little lair! Currently, I am living in a one bed apartment, with a super huge balconies that runs along the living room to my bedroom, but now... I can not afford this place anymore.

That is why I have been quite not in the blog anymore to blog. .I have been busy to find a job, a new home and all this thing just wrecked me into bits! I could not live by myself anymore, instead I opt for sharing! Share with other housemates, but having my own bedroom.

Lucky me, after few days struggling (you would not even know how difficult it is to find a home in Ireland! Once it is on the website, newly posted for few hours, but if you're late to call and book for viewing, it is already gone! - See this letting, sharing, etc. website in Ireland www.daft.ie ), I got a little place for myself. Oh, no. Sharing but with my own bedroom! For €650 per month. Now I am paying €1,100 per month for a one bed apartment!

It is so difficult. Like, you have to know the areas, so that you are not in a shit pit, where all the gang lands gathered! You never knew. There's few spots here which shows "STAY AWAY". In some of those areas, even sometimes taxi drivers are afrai to pass through the roads/areas just because it is noted to be dangerously dangerous!

I just got the text today telling me that I got the room that I viewed last night! I was so happy. Because the guy was telling me that he will let me know on Monday to let more people to view the house, but then he texted me this afternoon and tell me that he offering the room to me!! Yayyy! :) One job is done.

I will have to move out from this house by 19th March, and the new house required me to move in on the 15th March. So, it is kind of PERFECT! I have few photos on the new home too! Oh, and did I tell you that the room I am going to be in has every girl's ever dreamt of to have in a bedroom??? A massive 6 doors floor to celiling wardrobes, with two tiers hanging racks and shoe racks too??? And it is quite spacious as well, for the price of €650! And it is quite in a descent respectable housing area, and close to city centre! It's a good catch! Thank God!

So, now it is only the matter of finding a job.

I will be going to Spain (Malaga) next Tuesday! The 'boyfriend' is taking me there to relax for a week, and when I get back here he asked me to start again for the job searching! His parents have a house there, so basically it is just like a little vacation! ;)

Oh, and I have met his parents too!! :) Obviously, it is such an experience! I mean, I am always afraid when it comes to the meet the parents session! ;) But it is all good!

Too many things to tell, but basically that is what has been happening around my life at the moment! Thanks to all who keeps on reading, and sorry for lack of commitment in voting. It is just because there is too many unlucky things happened from one to another. Just hope that things are going to get better soon!

I have to go now. I'll write again soon!

Have a good weekends, everyone! *twirl*

How Should I Say This?

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Well... how should I say this?

There is a valid reason why I haven't been in here. Yes, I know. I keep on doing this. But, none of those before would be worst than this time. Well, how should I say this?

Okay. Here goes. I will be losing my job in two weeks time. There you go. I've said that.

Four people in our office has been let go, and we only got two weeks notice, and it started from today. I have lost my job. Period. Collapsing...again.

What should I say? I don't know. I really don't know. Wait. Like I have college, at least until next year. My company has already pay the college fees until I finish my fifth year. And that is at least until middle of the year. Then, I have to get a job before then to pay my own college fees next year. And I have tried. Not that I neglected the event of job searching. I did. But none of Quantity Surveyor vacancy is available in Ireland. None! Zilch.

There are few openings in UK as well as in Australia. But then again, how about my studies? Should I stop and move on, migrating to another country who desperately need my expertise and leave all my life, which is nearly three years I built myself here, in Ireland? Or should I just gave up and back to my own country, and let fate throw the life path that I can just obey to?

It is too early to decide, and this is the most difficult situation ever. I can't even think, and it is driving me completely nuts! What should I do? Which is the better choice to make? Disastrous, as ever! As always I am in the crucial situation ever.

What would I do? What should I do to make myself back to normal again? Which path?

Why is it so difficult to be me?

How Is It Supposed To Be?

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I am here, sitting in my sitting room and thinking. I know. It is bad when it comes to me, thinking! But I can't just ignored what I think I am doing!

It is not as bad as I thought it would be, but still it does bothers me. It is just that, I got a bit paranoid of this relationship thingy. My relationship. How healthy can it be, when a relationship is about not meeting each other for quite sometimes? And how weird it is to think that your boyfriend is not really cares about you? Or so I thought.

To be honest, I do not know how would a relationship be? How would a normal relationship be? What should be expected? How people doing it? To be in a normal relationship? Where's the rocky bumps, and for how long it is going to be smooth sailing?

I think I am just freaking out with this normal smooth sailing phasing, that I tend to rock it a bit for a small weeny bit of b4by's rhythm. How odd does that sounds? Has I gone mentally ill right at this moment?

Too many questions for too little time. I am too tired already to think (had bad day at work too! something about a Contractor is - kind of putting up a row with me over underpayment!!).

I need to hit the sack now. Too tired. Perhaps, an early day and a breakfast will clear my paranoia mind tomorrow! ;)

Good night everyone! (uhuhh... and sorry for the small interruption of my usual storyline! *wink*)

*twirl*

A Prosperous Year Ahead

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Hey. Happy New Year to all. I know that I have been gone for so long. But I have a very good and valid reason for all these absenteeism. :)

I got a chest infection earlier on, right after Christmas! And, earlier on I actually had a fight with a doctor in the hospital for prescribing me a Penicillin even though I told him that I am allergic to Penicillin! How could he be so stupid? I told him that, as I did have a bad experience with that... and what I got back is a simple answer from him, "no... you are not allergic to it!"

How could he know that? He has not even been my doctor before!! Idiot!

Anyway, yeah... I think I am a bit paranoid in the love department! I am so happily in love at the moment, and he... the Tall Guy is actually really a good guy, who treat a girlfriend the way they should be treated! I have not received anything, but full attention from him all time around! He is such a boyfriend material! And worst... I could not help but thinking, when is it going to rock. When is my happily in love boat is going to rock by a ferocious wind, as it always has been...

There must be something wrong, it couldn't be smooth sailing all the time. Or maybe I was meeting the wrong guy all the time, and when the good ones approach, I tend to be scared of good things that happened?

He is so adorable, and yes! He did told me that he loves me... :) See!! I told you, I am being so paranoid after all the bad sailing in the love department. He actually did tell me, that he really does love me... :)

What more could I ask? Nothing could have been better! Perhaps, it is the omen of good years ahead! :)

Catch you guys later, and Happy New Year once again! May all of you have a prosperous year ahead! Thank you for all the votes and sorry for not voting back these past few days... Millions apology! I'll try to catch up! :)

Good night!