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Sunday, March 16, 2008

What You Think Is The Best?

Ciao people. Been a very crazy weekend... at the start! And, I don't know how to pull this out. Always got stucked in a big mess!

I didn't go out last Friday, but I was having an after party at my home, with few friends coming over, including Mr. Frog! (No, he is not really a frog, but err... after what John said, maybe he's a frog!). *wink*

But thing has got even uglier! At some stage, I don't really know what is going on with us. Things have changed. At one time he is okay, but another he is just like a piece of shit! A friend told me that when he teased this guy about me, he just got paranoia! Like, a real paranoia. But what is it got to do with me? A friend also told me, that probably he is not sure what is his feelings towards me like. And, it's not really nice. As I don't really know what is going on.

Deep in my heart, I wanted to settle down. Like having a real life, with a boyfriend to take care of you and care and love for you, of course! But, with this situation I am having now, it is so impossible to have one. I don't know where I stand, and I don't know what is the conclusion for all this!

At some point, I do feel like a 'prostituta'! Like he was there, when he thinks that he wants me to be there, and at another point, he just left me unattended just because he don't feel like he's obliged to be there with me? Am I really that worthless?

Sometimes, I just wonder where will this story end? And how it will end, and when would it take place? Truthfully, yes. I like him so much, that I can never manage to forget him, not even a second. But, with the treatment I got, I don't think it will do me much good. I am truly confused with all these. I need a break, or maybe an answer to what has happened before.

I don't think what we have now is called friendship! I think it's more of a scandal? And not even close to the term, a relationship! None. And, come to think of it, I feel like a shit!

I don't know. I keep on writing and writing, and it just pissed me off big time to think of all this. And, daddy has warned me about the thinking. He said it's not good for me, and I know that as well! *wink* But, daddy... I just can't help it!

I really need an answer to all these complications, but its just too impossible to get it! Please let me know what you think is the best way for me to do. I am so confused. And now, it's 6.15am and I just woke up from bed and I thought I would scribble something to get, maybe another opinion on my problems.... I need help!

Let me know what you think I should do, the best thing to do.

Thank you.

3 twirls with baby:

70steen on March 16, 2008 at 11:07 PM said...

If it is making you unhappy dump him!
I think you know this yourself anyhow !!!!

shle3pyb4by on March 18, 2008 at 7:34 AM said...

the thing is he makes me happy, really. but the signals im getting is far too confusing. :(

I really dont know at this moment, but maybe i just have to make few test to see how it goes. but, what are the test available? uhhh, more thinking?

akmaelinda on March 20, 2008 at 6:00 AM said...



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