Tick Tock Tick Tockk!!

Saturday, August 30, 2008

Silly Girl

It's Friday. I was supposed to be happy as the weekends almost there. But instead, I'm not.

Silly me, seriously silly me. I knew that he will be going today, I should have spend sometimes last night talking or such, as he will not be back for long. He will be back in three weeks time to collect his other stuff remaining, but then he will be off again, this time is for good. At least, until our Prague holidays (if that would ever happen. I doubt about it though).

But, snobbish me, I scooted back, cave in the bedroom, and tucked myself under the duvet trying so hard to fall asleep, whilst he is in the living room! I have not even said good night! I think I would be awarded as the meanest person ever live!

Woke up this morning, with swollen eyes, performing the usuals... first, to the kitchen to boil the kettle, then I found him sleeping, crumpling on the sofa. Looking like a little child, sleeping peacefully. The odd feeling from last night, just struck back in.

After I have finished the normal chores, before I went off, I couldn't even manage to wake him up to say goodbye. I just can't. Instead, I left him a note. Just a note. Not a kiss, and not even a hug!

Before I went out, he was awake. Laughing in the sleep! Must have been a funny dream he had. He blinked over, and smile. Strange. Smiled back, then I hurriedly went to the room, and leave in the note. On the way to the door, I heard that he is in the bathroom. But once again, silly me just scoot herself away to the door, and that was it!

Why would I do such things? Ah, because I am a silly girl.

And now I am back in the house, and it feels really really strange. He is not there, and it is so odd. It's so empty. I can't and don't really know how to say this, but I just realized that I really have lost something, as I keep on feeling that odd feeling oozing in and out myself.

I am being odd now, I think.

Friday, August 29, 2008

Odd Feeling?

So, it is already Thursday. Thursday equals to late night shopping. Plus, mostly people got paid today, the last Thursday of the month. Same goes with me, but there is nothing in the shop that really intrigues me. Okay, okay. There is this one sneakers by Onitsuka Tiger. A white sneakers. So nice, and so girly in a way. But then, there is something more important bothered me today. Really bothered that I thought that I can swim in my own piece of mind.

But, I went to look up the shoes anyway. Unfortunately, they could not find my size. It's so rare to have many of them in my size, but usually they will have a few in stocks. But, as in for today... there is not even one in the stock! That is just the begining of my sorrow, I presumed.

I have been blabbing, nagging, complaining, cheering, chuckling, smiling, crying over this one person, who basically once in a while became the sub topic and sometimes, the main topic, in most of my posts since it was ever existed. Not just in the blog, but somehow in my life. Vice versa. In short, this one person coloured and patterned my canvas of life. With or without realizing it.

I have sometimes aknowledged this person as Mr. Jerk. (It is not as bad as it seems. That's just a name). He is nice most of the times - references to loads of previous posts would help.

He is...

1. My best funny, cheesy companion as he always made me laugh even though at times when I was supposed to be mad at him.

2. My best personal cook who never fails to feed me good, yummy, healthy food and when I could not finish the food on my plate, he will start blabbing, warning and telling me stories about how the starving people in Africa and Somalia, and I should be grateful and finish up everything (oh, and I did finish up everything!).

3. My best party partner who always had reasons to push me to come over to any party when there were times I said NO. He will always came up with a reason, that I will ended up being there in the party, and never failed to have fun for days!

4. My best couch potato mate, as after dinner on weekdays or if we don't feel like going out to clubs on weekends, we would spend hours in front of the telly to watch anything, from National Geographic Wild with the Monkey Business, Street Monkey and of course, his favourite... The Sharks! Or maybe, sometimes a re-run of The Goodfellas, Blow or even The Godfather Series. Then, as now he has turned out to be a newbie of The Simpsons addict, who are so attached with the telly when the show is on. Every single time, we had fun giggling and laughing hysterially over Homer, Marge, Bart, etc.

5. My best friend who is always there for me whenever things got nasty over my life and people around me. He always say something, made me realizing of things around me. Good things or bad things for me to think about it. And, sometimes... (not recently though), he will somehow cheer me up if I had bad day at work, by sending me stupid, funny texts that I will soon ended up laughing in the office instead of straining my nerves out of my brain.

6. My best opponent when we got ourselves into stupid, silly war. We can go for days of not talking to each other, even though if we are sitting in the same room! Just to provoke each other, we tend to just ignore each other so well, that sometimes (I think), it's not just me who pissed off, annoyed and irritated with the scenario, but he did too! *giggles* Then, somehow, we always did became 'okay' with each other without even has to say a thing. We can have no reason for not talking to each other in sudden and go for the silent treatment, and we can also have no reason to talk back to each other like normals do, back to our normal laughing, giggling, etc.

7. My other part of me, who never fails to understand what I want at every moment. Who knows me too well. Really well, that sometimes, if something happened, I don't have to say a thing but he understand and do exactly what I thought he would.

That is him. Mr. Jerk. He is not my boyfriend, but he is not just my friend either, so I think. It is so difficult to actually portray the things that we are having. The bonding. The relationship. Inexplicable.

But then, tomorrow he is going off for the afternoon flight. Unfortunately, he might not be back though. I have known this a while ago, but I haven't realized that odd feeling that I just sensed minutes ago. It's not that I am sad, and it is not that I am happy either. Just an odd feeling that I don't really know how to explain in simple words. Or even not liable to describe in words. Oh, and I am not being sappy neither pathetic. Just strange feeling. Odd.

What I know, we had shared good things and bad things together. And that is the important bits. We had that. And that is all that matters. I just hope that eveything will not be as difficult as it is ought to be.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Drug Addicts, and Alcoholics Are Everywhere?

So, it is already Wednesday. Been a hectic 'world' today in the office. Supposed, has been warned by my boss that I need to prepare to stay in the office late, as I have to finish up Client's requirement for our big hospital project at the moment. To be honest, this project has wrecked my life since two months back. Right after I came back from my Tenerife trip. It was way beyond hectic. I don't know which exact word best to describe the trouble with this one!

Luckily, I speed up my work, and instead of staying up late in the office 'till night, I managed to go back early! Yayyy!! Kudos to me! *wink*

On my way back home, I was flicking through the free newspaper, which I got this morning. I never had the chance to flick it earlier on, as my mind was too occupied on what are the things to do in the office. Then, I was strucked by the news of drugs consumption, everywhere!

It seems that drugs have been the main requirements of people need nowadays. And even, for girl to losing weight, is to consume drugs! But I am more concern on the bad drugs, not the medical drugs. Same thing goes with the alcoholism among youngster nowadays.

These people who consumed drugs, seems to be a huge problem to the community. Almost the same effect goes to the people who drink. I am not mentioning about people who drinks sensibly, or in any other word, rinking on weekends... socially. This is about the people who live to drink alcohol and consuming drugs. As if, that is the new way to a better living!

Artist, actors, actresses... singer, group band... there are no exceptional. Is there a new law saying that people who take drugs and drink alcohol to the fullest is the coolest people on earth?

I was browsing through the net, and I saw there's this one Drug Rehab, speacialize in helping these people to become sober. Back to reality. Soberity. In a good way.

The place is so peaceful, and with the environment they provide, I don't have any doubt about their mission statement! However, as people said, whatever it is, and how good things are, it must come from yourself as well. Your intention to quit, is the most important aspect of all. It's not just physically, but it must also come from the mind. Your mind, and your own decision to quit.

It has quite an impressive selection of Drug Rehab Programme to actually bring you back to your normal life, instead of swaying away to another direction, the direction that you won't be able to live on for long. Drug Detox is to make sure that you are completely off the drugs. So that, you can actually realized the meaning of having a happy and wonderful life, instead of stuck in the paranoid world filled with filthy drugs.

They also provide Alcohol Rehab, specially to those people who are can't get enough of alcohol per day. And the best thing is, they do not just give some talk about drinking and the bad outcome of becoming an alcoholism, but it also provide Alcohol Rehab with extensive care and treatment, as well as self improvement, that you soon instead of pulling tantrum as someone asking you to do what you are not willingly to do, you will eventually blooming and become a better person.

In my opinion, Cliffside Malibu is the best place if any of you or someone you knew that need helps, in terms of detoxicating themselves either from the drugs or alcohol.

Uhuhh, I have been to tired stretching my eyeballs on my monitor in the office. But, by looking at few photos in the website of Cliffside Malibu, it was a true pleasure! Kudos to these people who made it work! It is truly a tremendous success of making people poodled with drugs and alcohol, can have their normal life back, without being afraid to be tortured or lectured!

It's awesome, I must say. Good night everyone. *kisses*

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Pickles, Fickle, Wiggle?

It's Tuesday, and basically it's nearly in the middle of the week. Not realizing it, weekends is nearby. I haven't done anything, err... I mean, I haven't spoilt myself for a night outting last week, but I am not so sure about this week though. We are getting paid on Thursday, after 5 consecutive weeks since the last pay. I might go out, but on the other hand... I might not.

Ah, I forgot to tell you the new adventure of mine that soon would be on. It is my next trip, my Europe trip! We are going to Prague, if everything is going to be fine. I really mean it, IF everything is going to be okay. Hence, we got the tickets already. Just few more stuff to be taken care of. Like, the accomodation, places to see, nightlife and I will definitely make sure that loads of photos to be captured!

Before I decided the Tenerife trip before, that was last June for my birthday getaway. I had Budapest and Prague in mind. But then, we proceed with Tenerife instead with the reason I want some sunny rays especially it was summer and no summer day seems to be found in Ireland. I was basically dying to get myself burn, but instead not even just I had my skin burnt, but I had 'burnt' myself altogether!

Prague is such a nice place. Like Budapest, my definition of Prague is CLASSIC. Somehow, I think Prague is such a classic city and I wonder how it was there. Read few reviews and view some photos of Prague city, and it didn't fail to amaze me. So, with the trip that will be somewhere by the end of September, just before I start my first class back to school, I hope I won't get burn this time. I really hope.

And I do hope that we will definitely enjoy our vacation soon, as how a vacation should be. I don't want to be wasting my time, in another country feeling a bit of out of place and a stranger.

Well, at first I thought I wanted to talk about something else, but then... I was swaying away to another completely different topic of mine. Ah, I guess that was just me. Didn't I warn you before, I am such a fickle girl. And somehow, just this one thing that I haven't been fickle about. Not being fickle about me being fickle... Uhuhh, tongue twist! *giggles*

Good night, everyone!

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Take Me For Granted?

It's Monday. It is a fine Monday to me. The usual Monday. No site visits for me today, means no muddy pool for my boots to be dunked into. Means, fine.

I just have a thought.

What does it means, taking granted? Means taking fully grant of yourself? Would that be mean, or that is simply a way of living at the moment? I took granted of the weekends to relax at home or to spoil myself at the no ending party. That considered as taking granted as well. So, does that means bad? Even though I had that for myself, just for myself?

It so difficult what is right and what is wrong at the moment. It is too hard to analyze as well as to considered which is best and which is not, that soon leads you to a path that no one can even determine what is it. It is the world today, that soon become too difficult to handle. That is what.

I'd say in this new kind of world, people are taught to be bad to keep on living. To survive. Therefore, I'd say taking granted of one innocent life, would not mean anything anymore. But what would the person, the innocent person would feel? Nada? Nothing?

I wouldn't know. Or perhaps, I might know. I might be person at one stage, and I might be the other at another stage. Would it be?

The prey, then at another time, the hunter. I wouldn't know.

Still, the thought keep on lingering on my mind now and then. Taking people for granted. Is that a good thing or a bad thing...? To get whatever things that you want to be fully succeed if to take granted on one person to make it happen, would that be simply wrong and intolerated?

Still no answer. Still couldn't figure it out.

So, take time and think about this. Perhaps, you might have the answer?

Then, that is it the Monday thought for today! Have fun thinking!

Good night!

Monday, August 25, 2008

What Do You Think?

It's Sunday. I was outside my balcony a while ago, and what I saw is a beautiful pink Sunday evening. It was pink clouds everywhere, the affect of the sun behind one of the clouds, made it look so beautiful. It is so rare to find such beautiful in Ireland, to be honest with you.

And also, surprisingly... we had a summer day today instead of lashing rain all day. It was beautiful sunny days right from the morning, and somehow it cheers me up. I didn't go out, anyway. I was too lazy and what I did this weekend was only sitting at home, relaxing. And it surely is the best thing to do when you are too occupied with tons of work in the office.

Did you watch Grey's Anatomy? I was browsing through youtube, and I found the soundtrack for the series. I love it to bits, it is so soothing. I think. Or probably, I am too attached with the song? *wink*

Have fun listening, and tell me what you think will you? *giggles*

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Let's Dance, And Put On Your Red Shoes

A very catchy, yet so sexy song I think...

And, I like it. I think it is so refreshing, singing a song that is recorded way back, with a new breath of tunes. Two thumbs up!


Oh, I first discovered this song in a Ballygowan advert!

Let's dance put on your red shoes and dance the blues

Let's dance to the song
They're playin' on the radio

Let's sway
While color lights up your face
Let's sway
Sway through the crowd to an empty space

If you say run, I'll run with you
If you say hide, we'll hide
Because my love for you
Would break my heart in two
If you should fall
Into my arms
And tremble like a flower

Let's dance for fear
Your grace should fall
Let's dance for fear tonight is all

Let's sway you could look into my eyes
Let's sway under the moonlight,
This serious moonlight

If you say run, I'll run with you
If you say hide, we'll hide
Because my love for you
Would break my heart in two
If you should fall
Into my arms
And tremble like a flower

Let's dance put on your red shoes
And dance the blues

Let's dance to the song
They're playin' on the radio

Let's sway you could look into my eyes
Let's sway under the moonlight,
This serious moonlight

Hot Potato Flying?

Hello everyone? How is your weekend?

I was watching telly all week, after dinner, and of course... now that it is weekends, more time spent on the telly. Then, there is something that caught my attention, and it never fails to make me laugh, and smile no matter what is my condition at the moment!

Knowing me, full with imagination that no one could ever imagined, it just couldn't stop me from laughing, really. It was a nice one, and somehow I think it might intrigue you sense of humour deep inside you, no matter how serious of a person you can be.

It is the recent British Gas adverts. Where every single thing just flying up, up and away, from you. Like, they had lost the sense of gravity or something, showing that you are losing 'em, and has to tried very hard to keep them with you.

The part that I like the most, is the potato from the pot!! It's so cute when I saw the potato just 'running', 'flying' away from the hot boiled water in the pot!! And the poor lady trying to scoop them up in the air, to get 'em back to the pot!

Good God! It's hillarious!! *wink*

Oh, and I love potatoes. In fact, I am crazy about 'em.

Have fun viewing, and tell me what do you think!

Window Blinds, Anyone?

Last week, in the office, we had a lot of things to do in the office. A lot of measurement to be done, as well as pricing. All elements is icluded. The floor finishes, wall finishes that include painting, wall tiles, curtain tracks, and of course all sort of things. It does not exclude the blinds as well. As that is part of the job to be priced.

We have come across a lot of suppliers in order to obtain the price, and this eventually include all the leading manufacturers of most of the products. It is so much fun sometimes to ring this people, or even search in the web to find out the most recent products in the market nowadays. Full description and specification easily obtained from the website, and that makes the most of it.

Window blinds are the most in demand at the moment, instead of opting for the normal curtains in most of the schools and residentials projects. In my personal opinion, window blinds seem to be far more attractive and modern looking than the normal curtains. Somehow, I think it has the aesthetic values added when you installed these blinds than having your windows covered with a piece of cloth, in various colour. It also add professional looking environement, and it just increase the value of one room with the posh looking blinds.

Speaking about window blinds, Hunter Douglas is one of the most respected, top brands for it. It started with the lightweight aluminium window blinds, since the beginning. And now, they have spread their products in various types of window blinds as well as other window coverings. It has been so well known throughtout the United States Contractors to supply and fix the products to the customer with full satisfaction.

The are so worldwide now, as they cater not only for the United States customers, but to Europe, Asia, Australia and basically all around the world.

What would you think about window blinds? Do you have blinds in your own home or you still opt for the classic style of having cloth curtains? It doesn't really matter what you choose, as long as you are fully satisfied with it. But then again, if you are changing the looks of your home, why not opt for a window blinds, perhaps?

Have a good weekend, everyone!

Friday, August 22, 2008

Little Toddler

I was on the phone with my mom the other day, and there was my little cousin with her in the house. He was very happy to talk to me, as we haven't seen each other for about a year and a half now. It was such fun talking to the little kid. There is so much to answer, for all the outrageous questions from a small little kid.

My mom was talking to me about he is so excited telling her, that he will get a new bedroom, so he ought to have all new furniture in the bedroom.

Then my mom was telling me that she was browsing the internet for the little cousin's bed, that suits him. It was her and my aunty, who was busy selecting what and which to put in the bedroom. They had move to the new house, so a new furniture for the little one, is somehow a must!

To find a good quality of kids bedroom furniture is quite easy at the moment with the opportunity to browse through the net, rather than stopping from one shop to another. At least it save loads of time, and the review from people, will eventually help in determining how good the product is.

The little cousin is in the second year, in my country would be the final year in the kindergarten school. So, with that he wants to have a desk in his room, so that he can do his colouring and what so ever called, homework. Sigh. Kids nowadays are so persuasive and determine, as I can't even remember that I do have homework when I was in kindergarten before! *giggles*

So, a tiny kids desk in the bedroom is on the list! Ah, and of course, a little doodle chair! How cute can it be? Tiny little furniture!

I was asking my aunty, when I was talking to her, what type of furniture is she looking for? Would it be the modern, kind of furniture. Or would it simply be just a normal kind of furniture that you can find basically everywhere. But to my astonishment, she said that she ought to have a wooden children's furniture, instead. She said, as this is the chance to get a furniture, as they are moving to a new home, then it's good to just go for the good one. Then, it will last longer, and somehow, she is extremely fond of wooden furniture!

So, there you go!! A furniture-shopping free, for my aunty and the whole family, and trust me, knowing her... I knew it that the new house would soon be so outrageously gorgeous!

Let's just see, and really see what will come out in the end, shall we?

'Till we meet again! *wink*

How Criminal Are You?

So it is Thursday. Late night shopping day. But, it wasn't that entertaining for me. I didn't even go to shop, instead after work I went straight back home. Nothing excite me to posses at the moment.

As in now, as usual I am watching the telly as I just had finished my dinner. Not a really healthy dinner for me today. It is only an instant noodle with beef and egg! A spicy soup taste from Thailand, called Tom Yum. It was okay for me, I guess. I am not into heavy meal at the moment. I thought I have put on some weight. Better watch it out before I grow like a ball, instantly!

Most of the nights I will be watching this crime documentary in Discovery Plus channel. It was entertaining, and everytime I watched it, the curiousity in me grows! And somehow, it just bugged me. There are so many criminals out there doing such thing that you can't never thought that it will be done! Unbelievable.

With that thought, I wonder... how would it be if I have a criminal background, without even realizing it? Should I have a go with a criminal background check just to make sure, I am sound and innocent as an wonderful angel? Is there a human, really portray an angel in this nowadays world? I wonder...

No wonder parents nowadays are very worried whenever their daughter is starting to date a new bloke on the street. How would the father be well secure that his daughter is in the right hand? With so many criminal act all around us, it is just too impossible to blame the parents to be so over-protective over their child, especially if it's a girl. Therefore, there will always be a background check session between the father and the new guy, no matter how good the guy is. To be ready is better than to be sorry at the end of the day.

Same goes with the working environment nowadays. Criminal check has been applied, afraid the fact that employing someone with a bad reputation on the criminal lane, will soon brings trouble to the company, no doubt about that.

As I said before, criminal scene, ort shall you called it act, is truly, tremendously horrifying at the moment. No wonder people are being super-cautious over small silly things that appeared to be suspicious. Anything can happen between a nano second, so be it.

Have it a go, and check criminal background, if you feel insecure about someone, or somehow someone's act is a bit peculliar. It might be something beneath the clumsy silly act.

Gosh, I do sound so serious. I guess the documentary has got into me, sadly? Have a good night, everyone. *wink & twirl*

Thursday, August 21, 2008

A Routine?

It's Wednesday. The middle of the week. Whereas, the peak day of all days. This is the day you should be feeling energetic towards whatever things you are doing from the beginning of the week, and it is also the hunting to the wonder-weekend, that is soon approaching the week.

Well, for me. It is static. It's good that the week is nearly over. But then again, there is another week ahead that wee wee weekend. So, it's levelled. Basically, it's the same thing, over and over again.

Speaking of routine, same goes. With life, with people... and even sometimes with pet, if you have any. *wink*

Our life revolves around people. People means human. Human means, family, friends, lovers, enemies, employers... strangers. Technically, everyone. And it is up to the person, to actually having these people in a routine basis, or to spice things up... then it will turned out to be non-routine? Does that actually up to the person who sees these people to decide, to make it much more ecentric value by spicing up things, or it is actually the other party who did spice things up? It is still vague with mystery floating up and above.

Same goes with relationship. Not just between lovers, but between a person to another. Somehow, it can be a routine with a quick hello and bye. A friendly smile or even a simple nod. That can be acknowledged as routine. But then again, with a little high pitch voice blaring, swarming in the air... stomping foot on the floor to portray rebellious growing inside. That could be called non-routine event. Could it be?

But what happened when you are to attached with the routine of daily life you soon to forget the sparks that started it all? Would it that then be just a simple routine without anymore sparks to be cheered with? Is routine something good or it will eventually put life to pale and uninteresting life altogether?

Then come the question, would you be nice to a person just as a matter of fact that it is routine all along, and not because you want to? Or you just being the way you used to be just because you want, and you need to be such that in front of other people to make sure that people will see that nothing is wrong and all is wrong is one person is just being lunatic all along?

Would that come to the conclusion that routine is actually bad, in terms of this situation? Don't you think it is nothing but a fake person is born when routine takes control?

Why would you stay in routine mode if it's this that will happen, or it is just how you choose it to be?

In my opinion, rather than being a fake and to stay in routine, I rather a person being honest and not in a routine mode, so that the truth will be revealed, and end of story. That is the best option of all options. Unless, you are not sure of what are the things that you want. Ah, in that case, it will be in a different chapter, obviously.

Have a good night!

Saturday, August 16, 2008

A New Born Charlie Chaplin

Finally, it is Friday! That doesn't actually excite me, as it was before where I was always counting the days off to finally get to the weekends. The excitement strikes more, and the climax was even far better when the sun sets down on Friday. Means, party time.

However, it does, still... give me an adrenaline rush that the weekends are here, somehow. At least I can take some time off the huge pile of workloads in the office, the never ending tale.

I just couldn't stop wondering this one thing. Who would you thought suitable to trust? Are you capable to trust someone you knew, or you rather trust a complete stranger? After all the things that happened, I always have this thought in mind. Who would you trust?

What would you do, if someone who you trust dearly, soon to actually stab you from behind? And what she did all these while, is just an act to camouflage the actual scene that is all along in the scripts of hers? Does that means she is simply being the most hypocrite person anyone could ever be?

When I found out about this, (this kind of situation occurs to me millions of times, I couldn't help but smiling). Ah, I know you would have think that I have been mad after all this maze of life I have been into. But hey, somehow it looks like a drama to me. Yet, a drama which is not really portray a good act, instead a comedy is more suitable to be called of. Suddenly, I thought of Charlie Chaplin, but this time he was in a girl's dress. How ironic!

I could not care less about this no more. What happened, seems to be C-H-I-L-D-I-S-H act of becoming superior than the opposition. Hence, it still smells of pungent idiosyncratic behaviour, which I detest the most!

I don't need this. As I said before, it is one of the stupid no less than silly encounter. Pointless. And of course, it is way beyond my expectations to see such unbelievable pentomine. A hypocrite is one thing I need most, NOT at the moment. Good God! Being in a topsy turvy situation is enough to put me in confusion mode most of the times, but this... I just become too blunt to notice then.

How could? With that, all my salutation towards the 'proper act' practised in person before, faded away. Flew away, just like that. I soon realized, it was nothing but a totally melodramatic sitcom.

And then here I am, happily thankful to dear God, for the sense that I still posses and the good side of brain to think, even more wisely than this new-born Charlie Chaplin! And of course, to let me have my life sensibly, to behave as normal as I could, instead of pulling out tantrums over the laughable comedy stage up front.

Kudos to me, and to those who still believe in me and what I am, until today.

In short, I love you people, who do love me, without any hesitations!

Good night.

Friday, August 15, 2008

A Pointless Discussion

So, it is Thursday. Things have been not quite normal, it is just strange. It has been weirdly longer than it was supposed to. I presumed.

But one more day, the weekends will appear, again! (Doubt that it will be as good as I want it to be, though. As I don't even know what are the things that I am expecting.)

Everything seems to be pretty ordinary to me at the moment. Work, grocery shopping on my way home, dinner (whether quick dinner, or instant! Doesn't really matter, as long as I got something to eat, that suits me!). Then, few hours on the telly, being a sluggish couch potato I am. And of course, ended up with a peaceful, good night sleep. It's just basically all that all week. Sounds like I am having a boring life, yes? But that is what I am these past few weeks. Ah, or maybe a dinner out after work with my friends. And that is it. How ordinary a person can be if not worst than this?

Is it too wrong to be ordinary instead, rather than being a super hyper active me, with fully booked schedule? I have too much time floating, without nothing to do... and does that really really typical boring person schedule? How odd can it be not to be so cramped with timetables?

I was just thinking about this, as I was sitting home after work, gulping on my bowl of instant noodle bought on the way home from work, and soon it just strucked me! "Am I really that boring, that soon enough to make me become so unattractive?"

I know it sounds stupid, in fact I think it is so silly. Pointless discussion to be made. But hey, I thought about this, that means it is something important and hell yes, it is so obvious now, as I realized this. As if it was not, I won't be able to actually acknowledge of what is really happening. Am I right?

I don't know. When the clock ticks away to the weekends, I am starting to become more cautious about what is going on with my life. Just a plain, simple equation to be made. I am growing and becoming more wise, I guess. Am I?

It's just for me to have a thought scribbled and for you to figure it out for me, would you? *wink*

Have a thought, and let me know! *twirl endlessly*

Good night!

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Fickle FLowy Floo

It's Wednesday. So, it is only Wednesday. Sigh.

It felt like it has been ages since weekends! Too occupied with work, supposedly to shorten the time, but then again... it has been decades for me! It was too long, and too lengthy to go through. It makes me feel so tired! Gosh! I sound so typically old now. Don't mind that!

Anyway, things have been good. I have been eating regularly, on time. Good healthy meal. Woke up early morning, each day without difficulties (err, okay! That is a bit off the real thing, but at least I am as optimistic as I can be everytime I woke up from bed each morning, even though sometimes the weather did pissed me off, most of the times!). But what I mean is, it is better than the last time when everytime the alarm strikes, I feel a lot, loads of pressure somehow to move myself, away from bed. Impossible yes, but its a fact about me for you to know! *giggles*

What more? Ah, I am more sensible now in terms of dividing my weekends between night life and living like a normal person can be. It's not about going out all night all weekends anymore. It's like once in a while, and I know that I have been complaining about it before of how strange it is to stay at home and not going out, the urge to go out just too tempting and I can't even stand still, watching the clock swift slowly from one minute to another... but hey, I guess I am back on the normal track now, where I don't even mind about that anymore, at least not as bad as it was before!

I wonder how can I possibly be so positive as I am today (despite of the weather - which is crap today, even though we did have a few minutes of sunny afternoon for a while!). It's just unbelievable! But then again, this is me. I can be so unpredictable most of the times, and being fickle is just so me! Wait 'till tomorrow, or maybe even few hours after... I might be scribbling something really negative that soon will definitely put you off and wondering,

"What is wrong with this little girl?! Aha!! She is fickle, alright!"

So, I will chat to you guys soon! Take care and have a nice evening, ahead! *twirl dramatically*

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Just A Thought That Swirls

So, it's Tuesday today. Well, things are okay. But of course, as usual... I can't stop myself from thinking. Would it be possible for someone to change? Or other, would it be wise to fight fire with fire?

A thought just occurred to me. If something, somehow, someone... fought over things with you, and what you did is ignore it and live life to the fullest. Would it be bad? Or would it be more worst to actually fight back and state what you have in mind? Which would suits better to calmness and equality of ideas?

Have you ever thought that ever choice, path you take that somehow take you to nowhere? Probably, when you chose A, it would lead you to camp Z. But then, the next time, you thought of choosing the other, which is B... but then again, it still... leads you to camp Z. What is it with that? Was that got to do with the choices that was given, or would that simply be you. You, whom got the opportunity to choose? Which would be at fault?

Would that simply spells, you are the Loser among all the Losers? Or in better words, you are just being so unlucky and would simply be dipped in the unlucky bowl, now, then and forever? Which would be the answer?

Na, naa! I am not being negative girl over here, just a thought. It's always has been a thought, that swirls in my mind. And sometimes, it does make sense, doesn't it?

Someone's call it 'paranoia' and the others would directly called it lunatic minds? *giggles* Your choice.

That is my thought for today, anyway... It does keep me thinking for a while. It really does.

Good night.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Pass It On

Ah, by the way... I forgot to pass on the award to few people. Remember, the award that I got from Scratchbags? *wink*

So, here the award goes to:-

1) 70steen 2) Wani's Blog 3) NurseMyra 4) SexyInRed

You guys deserved it! Have fun!!

A Thought?

It's already Sunday. It seems to be a good weather today, as it has not been raining ever since. Or perhaps, it does rain before, when I am still curling on bed? I woke up late today, as I was staying up late last night, having a DVD night, until four in the morning!

It has been a while since any DVD night, ever!
I have not been out this week, and that makes me feel energetic as ever! (exagerating, I presume?!). But I am. I do feel energised a bit. Not feeling sluggish and tired as I always did. It's really good sometimes to be normal.

I was just thinking, when I woke up earlier on. Perhaps I need another vacation for myself this month? But then again, thinking back on the line ups of workload in the office, perhaps NOT! I would simply get 'killed' by my employer if I do so. We have loads of things to get done by August, therefore obviously no holidays can be taken! But then again, September or end of August would do just fine?

My last trip was the Tenerife trip, which somehow floated to be not so nice as I predicted it to be. So, basically... the really last trip I had was my alone - Spain trip I had last Christmas? Even though I had the trip by myself, it surely is the best trip I have had. It's good really. You dont't really have to cope up with people tantrums over stupid things, and besides, you can even just do whatever you want to do! It was awesome! And I met this Italian guy over there, who was currently working over there, accidentally!

He is still there anyway. I wonder if he is, still. Haha... speaking about my holiday fling! *giggles*
But there you go, it was surely fun to sometimes spend sometimes to yourself! I thought of going to Budapest this next vacation of mine! And I was thinking to go to Geneva or Austria for winter vacation of mine! I want to be covered with snow and fun in winter! That was my thought for winter. But now, at the moment... I was dazzled by the Budapest city I found out in LonelyPlanet website. It was surely a nice, romantic yet classic city, I thought! It is though!

I'll soon check the ticket and how to get there, later. I really want to go. Ah, and if not, I also found out about La Rochelle. Yes. Sylvie's place. I think it is so posh and classy. I might be headed there as well! I am still thinking about that. *grins*
Have to head off now. Better starts to find out about where to go for my next vacation! Talk to you guys later! Cheerio!

Tattle Tales!

I just got an award!! It's from dear ScratchBags! Thank you so much for such award! You are a star!!
And also, today is my dear brother's birthday! Happy birthday boy! Hope all your wishes come true! I love you!

And yes, I could not stop myself from thinking.... Having thoughts. Especially in this kind of weather we are having at the moment! It's crappy weather. It has been raining ever since I opened my eyes this morning! Okay, there is a little bit of exagerating! But still, the rain is unbelievable, especially it is only August at the moment. It was supposed to be sunny days, still!
Well, I was just thinking. A back-stabbing person, is so not a good person to be with. Okay, not to be so harsh, but then again... the same thing. A hypocrite. A person who stands by you just to have some benefits to themselves, then ditch you on the filthy roadside, when they got what they want. They find you when they want to and ditch when they know that there is no reason to be with you. What on earth is this kind of person think he or she is?! I am not referring to anyone by the way, it's just a general thoughts.
I have a conclusion to this somehow. My opinion is, he or she is just envying you too much to realized that the friendship is much more valuable than being a scapegoat. Somehow, they are just jealous of who you are, therefore they tend to use you instead of befriend with you. Somehow, (again!), they got simply intimidated by you. I don't really know how to basically explained how it happens, but that is what it is.
Therefore, pick your choose. To be there and favour the request of this kind of person, or just buzz off and leave this person by himself / herself. It's your choice, really. But if it was me, I will always be there. I know I am kind of naive (as this has been told to me so many times, but then again), there will be always a silver lining when you did good deeds to people, even though when people basically throw you in the mud!
My mom always said this to me. No matter whatever things people tend to do to you, don't ever fall yourself into revenge, instead be naive is the best option, as then... good things comes to those who are wise! *I think its my own philosophy - do I sound like Shakespeare now?* *giggles*
Oh, and one more thing! I have a new phrase-line!! Next time, I am not going to say, "Oh my God!" or "Holy shit!" instead I'll be saying, "Holy Macaroni!!" *giggles*

Somehow I think it's so cute! *another giggles*
Happy weekends, friends!

A Hermit Is Better Than A Lunatic?

I have just realized that I have not been blogging about nearly a week now? Almost. It was just that I am too occupied with too many things at once. Somehow, the workload in the office since to be mounted up, day by day. And with that, time passed quickly enough, that leaves me just enough time to eat and sleep.
I have been in a topsy turvy mode, these past few weeks. Somehow, I feel it too disturbing. And most of all, I feel so alone. Not actually complaining about it, and not also being so pathetic, looking gloomy and pest over my sad life. No. Its just that, I think I do missed my life. My normal life.
I have received an email from my best friend, back in my country. We become good friends when we were in our childhood times. We did everything together, get caught up doing stupid things, tell puppy love tales to each other, shopping together, having good and bad times together. We known each other too well, in fact we sort of complete each other lucks and miseries. It was one of a bestest memories I have ever had.
And when I got her email last night, I could not stop smiling reading all her tales and assumptions on me. She is still the same person as I know her back then. It was a joyful moment to acknowledge that she is still there. Alive! Ah, we have not contacted each other for so long. Probably, nearly a year?
Then, something struck me. It was too nice to have her back on track, even though... agreed that we both too caught up with our own things that we failed to be there for each other, but somehow... we can still click just like how we click years back. Then, I started to wonder. She is the only friend of mine who knows exactly what kind of person I am and how to cope with me and my tantrums at times, and vice versa... but then, how can possibly I find someone as exactly like her to become my best friend over here? It's impossible, especially when you grew older, things are getting far too complicated to achieve.
One scare thought popped in. I know I can make friends here. Have new friends from all over the places. But then, how can I contradict the idea that I can no longer get myself a good friend who understands me well. Does that means I am being to choosy to have a friend? Or does that actually means to be my good friend, you have ought to have good reputation, with high class dignity to satisfy me? Good grief. It's pretty scarry to have such thoughts!
Whatever it is, that is what I have been thinking lately. I think I am so alone, and the fact that I am alone, somehow does not scare me, but in fact, I think I kind of like the idea of being secluded once in a while. Silence, is to me... peacefulness. Probably the silent treatment that I had these past few weeks, trained me to become a good anti-socialist? Or what my friend over the other side of the world was saying, she thought she is becoming a hermit at the moment, as keep on saying no to any social invitations! A hermit will do at this point, I presume!
Happy weekends, everyone! *wink & twirl*

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Cruel To Be Kind?

I was about to go to sleep, then somehow this song struck my mind. Do we really got to be cruel to be kind, to be in the right measure? Is this what it is all about?

Lyrics | Letters to Cleo - Cruel to Be Kind lyrics

Back to Beautiful Life?

It's Monday, but then again its a holiday. Today is the August Bank Holiday for Dublin. I was out last night, to see Ben Sims playing in Andrews Lane. It's not to bad I must say. *wink*
Got back home at half six in the morning, as we went to an after party in friends house. It was brilliant. Nothing much to report, but one thing I have discovered. We will somehow ought to be abide by what we have and somehow, it will be a routine. Ah, I know I did not make sense at all, on everything I said here.
But here goes... I just discover something, I am so cannot be angry or mad at one person (no matter who they are, but this would happened if he / she is close to me), no later than two days. Somehow, it tells that whether I am naive and stupid, or I am a good girl with good feelings inside that barely let me have the negative things inside? But what I opt for is the first one. I think I am naive and stupid. But am I?
Oh and one more thing, I think I hate confrontation. That is why, everything should be all okay. So that it won't lead to commotion and disaster scenario, instead a beautiful normal life style, would be better I must say.
I just wish that, no more confrontation to be let happened, instead... I just want everything to be normal. What is so wrong to have a normal scene? Somehow, fights, silent-treatment, etc. is just simply not worth it. I just want things to be normal. When it was normal, everything was so fun.
Everyday filled with laughters, smiles, stupid jokes, gigglings and happy things basically everyday. It was so much fun. But now its more about not talking, quiet-worst than the library, sad faces, weird faces, reluctant to even say something... its obviously huge difference from what it was used to be.
Uhuhh, if only I had a wish, I only wish for it to be back to normal. Somehow, I do miss the ol' times. Somehow, how I wish...
A music from Infected Mushroom, I wish... Somehow, I think the music is addictive? ;)


Sunday, August 3, 2008

Love Song?

Lyrics are awesome. I like it, now and now!! :)

A Meme from 70steen

I got tagged by 70steen. Since I have been absence for quite sometimes, here is the meme specially done for 70steen, as she is the best!! Keeping up with me whilst I am in my up and down side. Cheers!

It involves putting in your name followed by 'needs' and hitting google search... and this is what I got:-

****** needs braces... (uhuhh, how would they know? I wore braces before! *wink*)

****** needs somewhere to live (eh, I have found a new place to live now... ha ha ha... )

****** needs help?! (ha ha ha... I surely do at the moment!)

****** needs a new concealer. (do I?)

****** needs wooden spatula too! (ha ha ha... it just makes sense!)

****** needs some lucky numbers. (why is mine mostly all hit right on spot?)

Then, you need to put in the same things, but then this time you should google in the image search. (Ah, by the way... I put down six on top as in 70steen page, she put in six as well. There is no indication on how many you should be putting in).

So, here are the people I'm tagging:-


Daddy (even though I know that he won't be bothered)




Have fun, guys!

Not The Same Again, Anymore

I am really really disturbed at the moment. I really am. All my posts these past few days, just tumbled upside down. I am so confused with myself, really. Everything seems to be so wrong. So in a big mess. My life. In fact, everything is.

I don't know where to start. But basically, someone has said something really bad, and it just doesn't make sense. I started to think so many negative things. I don't know really. All the time, I was thinking of crying. And at some point, I thought I was having an amnesia. Like what really happened in the past, has not even happen? As it seems like, I am the only one who realized that there was something happened in the past? He made it so simple, as if I created something and it was all in my mind?

How would that be? How could that really be? Somehow, he made it like I am one kind of a lunatic person, ever? I shouldn't be here, but then I should be living in an asylum with the real lunatic people?!

How could a person be so ignorant and filled so much of egoism in oneself without even want to admit the fact? How could a person be so mean and rude, without thinking of what other person will feel? Does he actually has a heart at all? Is he actually a person, a normal human being?

What happened yesterday is so intolerable. It just changed everything. It really does. It won't be the same again, not anymore. It's too harsh for me to accept, and to tolerate. I can't tolerate no more. I just can't. It is so different of him. So different, like I don't know who he is anymore.

And one thing for sure, at least I am sure about this. It will not even be the same again. Its just changed everything. I mean, everything...

Saturday, August 2, 2008

Silent Mind

Hi everyone. It's weekends at last.

It wasn't starting very good this evening. I had a stupid row. Or shall I say, beyond lunatic minds? It's too stupid to even get into such row! It's such a kiddy thingy. But, I can't really portray in words, instead... while I was browsing the net, I found Happy Bunny, and somehow it cheered me up! Here are some which, I thought I ought to say out loud!!

It was beyond absurd! And, seriously... now, I can't stop thinking what is really wrong that he ought to pick up fights? For stupid, silly things?

Good God. I thought I was the one who was having the PMS, and it turns out, it's not just me.

World is seriously, turning upside down.

Friday, August 1, 2008



I thought its going to be fine all along, but I was completely wrong!

Aunty Flow is not very nice. 'She' is so unpredictable! 'She' screwed me. One time I become person A, and the other I just become this one jerk, called B. Or maybe sometimes C, then D and E and it just keep on going on... Its pissing me off, as I started to piss off everyone near me. Its sickening!

I would simply snap to whomever is there, and without sense and any solid reason. And worst, I would simply snap to those who are so close to me! And its horrible. It's not really nice, to be honest. NOT.

People would definitely thing I am some kind of a psycho, or a lunatic. A complete lunatic! And to make things more difficult, I will realized that I have not been ME, after few seconds when I said or did something absurd! And feel bad about it, and can't really do nothing about it!

Oh, and I just snapped at one person last night. It was my laptop that is being so 'stupidly incompetent'! Whenever we played a sound, or sometimes when it got worst... whenever the laptop is on, it will make a beep beep sounds. And it is simply annoying, especially when we are listening to tracks or something from the laptop. And this person is just asking me, what is it with the laptop. And I said, it might be the virus inside, and I need to restore the settings. Then... he keeps on asking about it, and somehow... I got easily irritated, and I just snapped!

Telling him to buzz off, and I just scoot away from the scene, and stucked myself to my room, then only I feel like I made a mistake of saying such things! What he did is just asked, and I just snapped, feeling so insecure having the thoughts that he is making fun of me and my stupid laptop! No, no. Sorry, it wasn't me. It was 'her'! The stupid PMS and Aunty Flow thingy!

Good God! I hate being in this position, and I feel stupid, and useless!

I can't wait for 'her' to go away! I hate being me now. Hormones! Somehow, Miss Hormones, you just pissed me off BIG TIME!

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