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Monday, October 20, 2008

A Simple Thing

Hey there. It has been a normal weekend, was having a quiet weekend sort of. But few friends were over at my place last night for few drinks, and it wasn't successful to be a fully quiet weekend. But at least, I didn't go out and spend all the money for no reason!

Earlier on, a friend was coming over for a dinner and it was okay. But then, when few other people were coming, it just turned out to be strange. How could it be that when you want them to leave, they just won't leave? Such a pain in the ass! I learnt my lesson. I am definitely not going anywhere at all next weekend, and actually its a good thing too not to see some friends like these people!

I am not being selfish or what-so-ever. But then, they just ignored you, the fact that you want a quiet weekend, simply because they just don't know what to do for the weekends? How selfish you can be to actually not to tolerate with these kind of people?

I am not in a good condition as well. Not just the health, since winter seems to be peeking in my life lately. Been having cold and flu now and again. There is also a sad news at work as well. We had the staff review, but I haven't got mine yet as I was absent on Wednesday and was in college the whole day on Thursday. So, when I came in on Friday, no partners are available to do my review. Unfortunately, there is one staff who has been let go on Wednesday, and I just got the news on that Thursday. It has been bothering me ever since!

Heard that as well, there will be no Christmas bonus (I've been waiting for this, all year but with this new news, it just breaks me apart!), no pay raise and no overtime will be paid as well. I keep on having the thought that I might be the next one. And I have been thinking too, if it will be me the next one, I would definitely not going to stay here in Dublin, at all anymore. It would be the end for me in here. Definitely.

And about Mr. Nice Guy, I have told him the truth. I told him I can't go on with this. He is too nice, and I think I am being the odd shape in the pattern. I don't think we can make it and go through with it. I know, I know. What is my damn problem? You got yourself a good guy, and you just ditch him? I don't know what is wrong with me too! I think I am having this paranoia when there is someone out there reaching out for me. Adore me and like me a lot, would be a big turnover for me to go over and said NO. It's just a reflex mode of me. It's stupid. But, that is what I am having all the time.

Mr. Nice Guy take it nicely. And, we're all good now. He said, he was confused with me, and makes him want to know me more better! It's so strange that I meet this nice guy, isn't it? There must be something really really wrong somewhere. This couldn't be right! (That is always how my mind twirls when something like this happened! I'm being skeptical and in doubt).

So, here I am with too many things in my mind. As usual, but this time it is far more serious than before, obviously. I mean, how could it not be. It's about my life, my job to be specific!

I just hope that I will not be let go. At least not at this time. And with college, and boys... let the time tell the tale!

Wish me luck! :)

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