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Sunday, August 3, 2008

Not The Same Again, Anymore



I am really really disturbed at the moment. I really am. All my posts these past few days, just tumbled upside down. I am so confused with myself, really. Everything seems to be so wrong. So in a big mess. My life. In fact, everything is.


I don't know where to start. But basically, someone has said something really bad, and it just doesn't make sense. I started to think so many negative things. I don't know really. All the time, I was thinking of crying. And at some point, I thought I was having an amnesia. Like what really happened in the past, has not even happen? As it seems like, I am the only one who realized that there was something happened in the past? He made it so simple, as if I created something and it was all in my mind?


How would that be? How could that really be? Somehow, he made it like I am one kind of a lunatic person, ever? I shouldn't be here, but then I should be living in an asylum with the real lunatic people?!


How could a person be so ignorant and filled so much of egoism in oneself without even want to admit the fact? How could a person be so mean and rude, without thinking of what other person will feel? Does he actually has a heart at all? Is he actually a person, a normal human being?


What happened yesterday is so intolerable. It just changed everything. It really does. It won't be the same again, not anymore. It's too harsh for me to accept, and to tolerate. I can't tolerate no more. I just can't. It is so different of him. So different, like I don't know who he is anymore.


And one thing for sure, at least I am sure about this. It will not even be the same again. Its just changed everything. I mean, everything...

3 twirls with baby:

scratchbags on August 3, 2008 at 10:36 AM said...

I go these kind of feelings very often but I always make sure that i talk it out or rather fight it out. :D But yes sometimes these things piss you of because you are not at fault and someone else is being mean to you for no reason or may be a supid reason that's not even worth it.

wani ezryl * on August 3, 2008 at 5:03 PM said...

can't help of thinking of awful things when ppl say sumthin bad about us. but dun let the thinking harms u in a way.. just ignore that person and live a happy life ^^

shle3pyb4by on August 5, 2008 at 5:11 AM said...

hi scratchbags. :) yeah. but the thing is, the way that people blaming everything on you, and pretend that it was never happen, seems like you are one psycho lunatic, and supposed to be kept in asylum instead of in the whole wide world. so, its difficult really, to deal with it. at the end, i just ended up feeling sad and worthless. obviously that, this person has a big soft spot in me. :(

hi couz. :) it easier to say about but then it will be far way difficult when you have to deal with it. its way beyond expectations. and actually, now on... i dont know if i do posses a happy life at all.

 

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