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Friday, September 26, 2008

Collapsing


Hey there.

All the things have been taken from my house, just minutes ago. He came, and now he's gone. He is completely gone for good now.

He did came earlier on this morning. He did. He came to pick up his money left here and few important stuff that he really really needs for the day. It was one hour before I went to class.

I know I might sound stupid about this whole story I am going to tell you about, but this is the fact. The truth fact.

When he was here, he was asking me, why would you became so angry to me? And, I didn't answer him at all. I just kept myself quiet, holding to my knees, on a chair. I was ignoring him completely. I just can't.

Then, within seconds, I can feel him hugging me from behind, and its just so beautiful. He keeps on asking me, softly. I retracted myself from him at first, but then I couldn't bear the sorrow inside me, and I just cried. I cried. And he was hugging and hugging me, comfortably. And it just keep me in tears. And he tried to shussh me, and said to me, not to cry. And calming me down. And then, I just blurted it all out. I told him everything, that I was so torn about what happened. And everything is let out. And he answered me. For once, I was so pleased with the answer.

"People make mistakes. It was a mistake to do such thing... don't cry. Please don't cry..." It was the most soothing thing I have ever heard from him. The most comfortable position to be there in his arms even though I knew by that time that he is going tomorrow, for good! It was such a nice moment. And we were holding on to each other, and he just hold on to me, and not releasing at all. I cried, I cried and I cried.

Then, he picked me up from the chair and bring me to the sofa, like a baby. And we cuddled for few minutes, and it was so quiet. Cuddling and hugging, in silence. It was the best moment ever, and somehow the tears just can't stop. I know that I will loose him for good this time, even though I never ever had him before.

He went out then later, back to the hostel he was in, and I went to class.

He came again few minutes ago to take the rest of the stuff. He was packing, and rushing. And I was just sitting there, and we were talking while he's doing the packing. And half an hour later, all packed and he moved to the door, and tell me, okay... that he is going. And we said bye, and that's it.

I really don't know what is going on between us now, because I know that I won't be seeing him again. But, it was just a simple bye. Honestly, a hug and a bye. And that's it.

Then, when he was gone, I was sitting on a couch, then only I can feel a streak of tears coming down on my cheek... I just cried again. It's done. That's it. And, he's just gone, and what I know for sure now, is that... I am collapsing, and I am collapsing badly.

What is it with that? Is there anything you think that I missed? Why would we had the moment? The silence moment? Is it not better off to not get involved when it's supposed to be ended?! Why would that happened? I am so torn.

4 twirls with baby:

wani ezryl * on September 26, 2008 at 1:37 PM said...

may b u'r destined to be with someone better ^^

scratchbags on September 27, 2008 at 1:00 AM said...

You know I always believe in one thing that if something ends, it ends badly or else it doesn't end. From what I can see, I don't think it has ended yet and there are strings attached.

Take care. *Hugs*

Join me for a party on my blog, may be you'll feel better.:)

Daddy Papersurfer on September 27, 2008 at 2:27 AM said...

I think we've got to wait ...... *hugs*

fracas on September 27, 2008 at 5:47 AM said...

Big bear hugs for you today (and tomorrow and until you say stop)!

 

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