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Thursday, May 1, 2008

Undefined Bonds

It has been a weird week for me, starting in the first day of the week. My other so-called pair of socks is hanging around in my life. Somehow, it just happened that he eventually became very nice, and it is so strange to actually having this thing at the moment.

We went for a cup of coffee on Monday, and he actually waited for me until I finish work, and I purposely turned up late, and he is still there. Waiting. It is so weird and strange for me, seriously.

Furthermore, he came over later on with the reason of getting some DVDs from my home, and ended up cooking dinner for me? What was that supposed to mean? I don't even have enough ingredients in my home, and he basically run down to the nearest store, get all the things, and came back and cook for me! He stayed for a little while, we talked, laughing... then he went home. It is so strange to me, let it be as it is. But then, the same thing happened again on the next day.

On Tuesday, I got a text from him, saying that it was fun what we did the night before, and he would like to eat together again. And surprisingly, he came. With all the ingredients, and cook again!! Last night. I was in a complete confusion era. Seriously.
We ate, watched a movie after one and another. And... I got really sick (not that he cooked something poisonous - hahaha... but I was sick, originally. Probably the shockment takes control!). He was looking so comfortable on the couch... until he said (reluctantly), that he should go home. I really don't know what to respond, then I said okay. But he stood still.

Then, he keeps on popping this question, until I said... "oh, okay. Maybe you should just stay and go back tomorrow". That is when I know I have made a wrong move. We keep quiet for quite sometimes... then, he suddenly, take his jacket and looking so strange, and walked up to the door.

I really don't know what have I done. I said bye, and he just left. Was it me who is trying to be nice, asking a friend to stay as it was late for him to go home (his house is not that far from me though, as I told you before he moved so near to my home - kind of a stalker eh? haha...)? Or was it him, being so uncomfortable as he said that we should be just friend and he could not handle the truth that he actually has feelings for me, which is a feeling that is more than a friend? It was way too confusing.

But one thing for sure, I know that he did have fun when he was at my place, and the fact that he actually cooked for me, is really something. As he is not really that kind of guy who cook, err... I think you got what I mean. Or probably, it is the way of him showing that we are in fact good buddies, so he cooks for me as a nice gesture to all this confusion? But why does he has to be strange, having all this weird, nervous-wrecking moves when he was in my home and looking at me when I wasn't looking?

Was it me who thinks and hope too much but in fact it is just a normal things that normal people do? Or, (this lead to a normal and basic question of all to this complicated equation of love), can a boy and a girl really become friends, like just friends?

It hurts me so badly to think all this as I wouldn't have the right answer to it, at all! I really don't know what he wants from me, and basically I don't actually know what I want from him. But one thing for sure, the fact that he is actually spending time together with me these past few days, and looking at him smiling and laughing, and the fact that we are comfortable with each other existence, really means something.

Something that is more than a friend... something more complicated. An undefined bonds that can never be explained.

I thought so...

2 twirls with baby:

Shinade on May 1, 2008 at 10:51 PM said...

Hi there,
I do so hope that things work out as you are hoping.

It has been my experience many moons ago when I was single to find that many men have a problem with love and commiting to it.

It does sound like to me that he is certainly very interested in you.

If it were me, I would not give up, but, I would also try my best to be prepared if he does choose to only remain friends.

I am hoping it works out the way you wish it too!!

shle3pyb4by on May 2, 2008 at 7:07 AM said...

hi jackie! :) glad to have you back!! :)

i dont really know what is going on. but one thing for sure, things are getting more complicated. its just so weird.

i just dont know what i feel now, anymore... anyway. one thing that i really know is, its so strange. yup! i am all ready for it as well. i'll go with the fate, with the flow... and see how it goes. theres nothing to lose, anyway. :)

thanks for the support! actually, i really need that! :)

*kisses & a twirl for jackie*


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