First Time?

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Hey. Weather today has been really weird. It has been raining all day, and I can hear the raindrops tapping on my balcony table outside the balcony. It is a pleasant but annoying noise at the same time.

I haven't gone out from the house ever, at all since yesterday. I think I am cocooning myself in the house, with instant noodle and few bits of sitcoms re-runs. I could not even go out as well, even though if I feel like going out. I am broke, I am so dead broke. We are not getting paid, at least not until next week. How horrible it could go wrong?

Mr. Tall Guy is over at County Laois to his parents since Friday, but then he will be back tonight. He might come over to say hello, later on I think.

There is the other issue with Mr. Tall Guy. I think he is so shy. He is actually. In an odd way. Is it possible that he has never had a girlfriend before and I am the first girl he as ever be close with? Not that I am saying I am his girlfriend at the moment, but I could not afford not to think that he is shy and it is bad that now, I am in his life, and I am so much older than him? Will that affect everything, that we have now? Should I be worried about my age and start to be pessimist about every little single thing?

Even I don't know if I do like this guy for real or not? Maybe it is just a fling. That I enjoyed the undivided attention I have from a person of the opposite sex? Would that be the thing instead of the feelings inside?

I am so confused, but one thing for sure, I had that butterfly in my tummy everytime when I saw that I got a text messages from him, or even when I see him. I am so embarassed whenever I saw him and it is always like the first time I met a guy that I like. Is that normal?

I don't really know, and for the time being... I don't really care. What I think the best thing to do is, just to go with the flow and enjoy life. Uhuhh, Aunty Flow is in town at the minute. And I surely have all the cramps and menstrual pain!

That doesn't help either, but hey... can't complaint! At least, I am still breathing! :)

Good night, everyone!! *twirl*

Thinking Too Much Leads Nowhere

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Today is Tuesday. In a week time, I will be having my week holidays! *wink*

But I am on bed all day today. Been attacked by period cramps! It is not a good feeling either. Been curling left and right, and sighing all day. When I eat, it pains. When I stand up, it pains. When I turned my back, it pains. Everything spells - PAIN!

I have tried to get myself up and go to work, but alas it is all lead to a big failure. So, basically I was home all day, on bed. Not a good day to spend, at all.

I have decided. I am moving out in July, and I just got the answer to my confusion. We are going to Tenerife, after all. I got the news last night. He just got back from somewhere, and he texted me in the middle of the night... we are going!

I felt happy but in some aspects, I am worried. Would it be a nice vacation without any hassle and tense? Would it be as a good vacation as it can be? I hope so.

I have given up thinking. I guess, sometimes... it just made things go wrong. Go the other side of the story. It does not help, as sometimes it gave you different opinion, which somehow it is not there to judge at all. An opinion which is not relevant to even be called, an opinion. That usually what happens. Not just to me, but to whom who thinks too much. I guess that explains.

When we have an option, to choose... we tend to go to the other side of thinking. The negative ones. To me, its like a disease. Once you have a thought about it, it will spread around... and that is when things got worst.

So, basically... what am I saying is, don't think too much. No matter what the thing is, when you did too much, it won't give you any good.

I am still having my cramps now, but I am healthily to get back to work tomorrow. Therefore, I must hit the sack, now. So, till we meet again! Cheers!

P/S: The home-hunting is still on-going. I'll let you know the update.