Like Means What?

Tweet

Hey. It was a long day for me today. It's the college day. And today is worst. It is the group discussion thingy. We had this submission next week, including the presentation for one subject - more like Project Development course.

So, I went. We had not really a discussion, but it was a long day in college. Was too tiring. Everyone started to say this and that. And, uhuhh... it is annoying!

Then, went back home, and there were the happy times to stay at home and being lazy. It was nearly 5 in the evening when I'm home. Mr. Tall Guy came over. And we had dinner. Takeaways. Was good and fun. Then, I was thinking. What is going on with us at the minute? Are we labelled as boyfriend and girlfriend material, or it's more like seeing each other for fun?

I know I did sound so old, but hey... I need confirmation, yes? After few talk with him, he said that... (this is the exact word from him), "...I like you, and I want to go out with you".

And would I ask this one for another clarification? What does it means by "something too serious?". It just bothers me so much! It's not that I am going to ask him to marry me, but at the same time, I am not going to let people see me as a whore with a guy, without any relationship! It just bothers me so much, that I feel stupid! Really.

At this point, I think I have made the wrong decision to actually going out with him. I think he is too young, and he just want to play around, rather than having a normal relationship? Do you think the same?

Why would thing always become so complicated when it comes to me and my love life? What I know now is, I am so ultimately unlucky in things called love. I think I might called it a day, though!

Sucks big time!

Kudos To Me

Tweet

Kudos to me. I have been so mean. The most meanest girl, you have ever met!!

I made a choice. I have chased him out from t he house yesterday evening! I think I do have came back to my senses! At least, something made me!

Something he did just pissed me off BIG TIME! First, I discovered that my laptop has been used for a filthy, most filthiest reason! He watched PORN using my laptop, in my house! I know its sounds silly. Sounds a bit selfish, after all, he is a guy! But still... I can't tolerate that!

Then, I found a conversation that he told his friend (a friend who knows me to well, and get along well with me) that a trip to somewhere else is more nicer than to go to Prague with me! That is the most horrible terrible thing that he can said to someone!

Then, I decided to confront and really chased him out! Out! Basta!

I asked him to collect all his things and just BUZZ OFF! He did came home and take few stuff, and left loads of stuff still!! With the reason he'll pick t up today or next week the rest of it!

He is so bold of doing it, and I did actually asked him to fu** off! Like, seriously!

I told him that this is not a joke I am playing, and he definitely has to pick everything up as soon as possible because I have had enough, and I can't tolerate anymore and better off we don't have any contact at all!!

Somehow, I do feel proud of myself! I should have done this earlier! He is such a mess in my life all these while!

That is all I can say. Kudos to me.

I Have Had Enough

Tweet

It is Monday, again! *sigh*

But it has been a really good Monday for me, as I have stayed at home all weekends. That is the best bit of staying in, really.

Somehow, on this good Monday evening, I have a thought. A good thought, but somehow scary enough for me to admit the fact.

The thing is, I think what resolve around me these past few weeks is childishness! Completely beyond, I'd say.

Now, I have made my decision. If that it what it is, then it is. No more arguments, no more confrontations. I am completely fine with it. To argue about such things, to be longing for someone to actually accept the fact, that has been denied all the time, is completely hopeless. Would be obviously hopeless...more, if you're dealing with a person with a kid minded!

You wouldn't even received the truth. Not in a million years! You wouldn't even succeed in achieving such thing, with a person who is totally childish! So, where's the point?

I will definitely agree with whatever is made. With whatever I had now, and I wouldn't even care to ask a person to agree and admit the truth. If that is what it said, then it is. The fact is, I don't care anymore. The thing is, I am tired of all the bullshit... deja vu thingy, that makes my life completely in a misery state. It is going nowhere!

I need someone who can guide me, not someone who tear me into pieces because he/she is just being childish complete with a kid minded. It is absolutely leads to nowhere. And, that is not what I want. That is... in fact, a total bullshit?! *grins*

So now, even though it was supposed to be Monday, a day that I should and always trapped in blues and misery, somehow this Monday has got me back to my senses. I have decided. And I am keen to stick to my decision.

It's his choice. So, if he choose to be childish, then childish it is. And to me, means... that's it. I have had enough!

Somehow, I don't really care anymore. As... I have been treated like a maid. Used me like I have no soul. Nothing. Just a stupid, useless corpse. Sometimes, worst than a shit. So, there you go. I gave up.

I rest my case... And somehow, I am happy about it. It's just killing me all these while. And now, I am completely done. Finish. Dot.